WHY PUTTING MY BUSINESS LAST WAS THE BEST DECISION I HAVE MADE FOR 2018

I have been pulling my hair out trying to figure out how I can grow my hosting and training business .  Since the late quarter of 2017, I have been wanting to aim higher and dream bigger. I mean, it is just right, di 'ba? Every business owner, freelancer, entrepreneur would like to be better every year.

With this in mind, I kept on asking the Lord how.  I also nagged Him to give me wisdom, ideas and more clients.  However, God has been silent.  He asked me to focus on Him instead.  I was not convinced so I asked Him more.  He still did not answer.

I stopped asking and tried my best to focus on Him and settle on for 2018.  Then on the series of events, conferences and journaling, I realized something.  In order to be bigger on the things I want to accomplish, I need to embrace who I am first.  And who am I first?  Let me share to you what I enumerated on my journal:

1.  Christian
- salt and light
- be a disciple and discipler

2.  Wife
- support Bryan in all areas
- homemaker

3.  Mother
- Homeschool Risen
- Train and journey with Risen

4. Freelancer
- Host
- blogger
- owner of Soli Deo Events Management

5.  Daughter, a sister, a friend, church volunteer
- connect to family and a community

When I realized who I am first, I felt so bad for neglecting what God intended me to be primarily.  In many occasions, I have frowned upon working on chores (if only I could answer a client's inquiry), whined at Risen for wanting to play longer (I have an email to answer), I also thought of my time go to waste with all the cooking and cleaning I have to do (I could have been blogging instead), and the many instances I folded clothes and tidied our cabinets with a heavy heart (If only I can go to a coffee shop now and work on my laptop).  God rebuked me and told me, "Hey, I did not create you to work and grow your business.  I made you mine, Bryan's and Risen's FIRST" 

This humbled me and made me ask for forgiveness because for sometime, I neglected who I am.  I obeyed His direction and agreed to embrace my life in a specific order.  But wait, the idea here is not to drop our businesses and just literally stay at home.  It is just a matter of prioritizing and seeking Him first.  For the longest time, I thought I was already doing this, little did I know that I was not.  God reminded me that He is pleased when I do chores (naiyak talaga ako dito!!!!) and at the end of the day, this is what is important.  He assured me that He will handle the rest as long as I do not put on a heavy heart serving my boys.  When this happened, I told God, "Okay Lord, I am ready to not grow my business this year, I will focus on the first 3 lang muna", but knowing God's economics, baligtad talaga!! When I decided to work on what REALLY mattered, I suddenly had ideas for my business, I had inquiries that did not get mad when I answered late, people who can help started pitching in, and lastly, I still have energy to work in spite of the working at home!   Ang galing!!



To add to this, He also reminded me of the following:

1.  God made Bryan the main provider.  My responsibility is to just support him.

2.  God did not want my business to be a product of my sweat, hard work and sleepless nights.  He wants it a result of His grace and my obedience.

3.  I am a stay-at-home-wife-and-mom first not an entrepreneur, so why should I worry if I don't grow my business?

4.  Prioritizing is the key, not balance

Misis (especially those who does NEED to work), it is okay to be who you are first...These things will be added when we honor God first (Matthew 6:33) 

GETTING MARRIED? 4 IMPORTANT THINGS YOU NEED TO PLAN ASIDE FROM YOUR WEDDING

1.  Honeymoon
Yes!  One one of the joys of married life is to be able to travel, be intimate, and come home to each others arms.  Alongside your wedding planning. you have to plan where you will spend your first night, and the nights ahead.  Why?  Well IF you haven't been together as in together, I do not have to tell you why.  Pero sige, let me still give you the reasons ;) First, you will never know when the two of you can be alone and worry free again.  Second, wedding planning is stressful you gotta relax!  Third, you and your partner deserve your undivided attention.  Lastly, to celebrate God's gift of sexual intimacy.  Yes, sex is a gift from God for married people.

2.  Pregnancy
For the girls, please visit your trusted OB to know what is going on inside you.  IF you are not sexually active, make sure your doctor knows this.Just be honest with your answers and concerns.  For you and your partner naman, IF you intend to wait it our  a year to get pregnant, PLAN on how you intend it to happen.  It can't be the "bahala na" pill.  There are a variety of options and what is important here is that you agree, whether natural or scientific.  Your family planning seminar (required by the government) may have this, but, based on experience, it is still better to have a time to seat down with your OB.

3.  Leaving and cleaving
I have written a million blogs on this! haha  You can click this or this . 

4.  Finances
To tell you the truth, it was only when I got married that I started to handle my finances.  
So, just to put an edge and wisdom on this truth, I have asked a friend, Katrina G. Ley,        Licensed  Financial Advisor, Sunlife of Canada (Phils) Inc.

A. Is there an ideal amount/percentage of savings a newly wed should have? 
There is no strict figure on the amount of savings a newly wed should have because it all  boils down to the couple's Financial Goal. There should always be an open line of communication about money issues with your partner.  Talk about money and define your shared goals.  Be honest with your debts, liabilities, disclose your assets, discuss your plans for building a life together --- purchasing a home, having children, everyday expenses, education expenses, health care, investments, and retirement plans.  It is important to always talk about the steps that should be taken in order to attain your shared goals.  You should also always respect each others financial skills and never be afraid to ask for money or financial advice from experts like a financial advisor.

B. If you have 1M for the wedding, honeymoon and savings, how much should be allocated for the savings alone? 
Decide on which formula to follow for your househol.  There are several formulas like the 60-20-10-10 or the 50-30-20 rule.  Always stick with your formula.  Follow it religiously and whole heartedly.  If you have 1M, a good 20-30% should go to savings




PRACTICAL WAYS TO SHOW RESPECT TO OUR HUSBANDS

We attended 2 conferences at the CCF Center two weeks back (one is for church leaders and the others for church goers) and funny on how my biggest take home was about marriage and family.  I guess it shows that these topics make me giddy and relationships are important to the speakers of the conferences as well.

Anyhow, let me discuss my workshop highlights here:

1.  Do not confirm any invitation, event, or appointment without asking him
It is very easy to say "yes" to invites especially if we know we are available.  However, confirming skeds may also mean overlooking our husbands calendar and authority.  The better reply is "Let me check with my husband first".  This response will also make the people around you and your husband think highly of him.  To the words of one of the married women I admire, "Wives schedule should revolve around their husbands" - Deonna Tan-Chi



2.  Answer his texts and calls
Josh McDowell would take calls from his husband and children anytime.  Be it stopping mid sentence while speaking in a thousand audience or delaying a very important meeting.  He told the IDC participants that his family is the most important people in his life so it is always a "yes" even on phone calls. Now, we know what to do ;)

3.  Drop everything when he arrives home
Pastor Peter Tan-Chi would honk and shout at the door "I am home", then his wife and kids would drop whatever they are doing and run to him.  This was their "tradition" years back and it not only showed but modeled respect to the man of the house.  I recognize that it is really a sweet gesture to welcome Bryan by the door.  And of course, I also make sure I am done bathing, there's food and the house is pleasant to come home too.

4.  Do not correct him in front of others
Our husbands are not perfect, but let us not correct them in front of others.  If there is a need to do this, let us say, the information is important, say it nicely.  Do not grill, blame, point finger, put to shame or say "ewan ko dyan", "bahala na sya", "basta ako...", and other phrases that show disrespect.  This is not only bad for his image but also for you.  Can you imagine a child saying this to his parent?  No right?  Then no wife should also tell this to her husband.




5.  Yield to his decision
There are times I do not agree with Bryan but I prayerfully support and submit.  If his decisions fails, I encourage him.  Our husbands lead and IF they will be wrong, hopefully they will learn from this.  Let us not take this away from our husbands.  Discuss your side and pray that he will make the right decisions for your family.  What I learned recently was when I do not agree, I do not nag him but I go to God in prayer.  I tell Him that to speak to Bryan to "change his mind".  And just in case Bryan doesn't, I am in full confidence that God wants it that way.  And when Bryan suddenly changes his mind, I do not "Sabi sa yo eh", instead, it encourages me to pray more for my husband because I know God talks to him and my hubby listens.  When we allow our husbands to decide and be accountable, they are able to see their strength and weaknesses too.  In this way, they become better decision makers.  Let them be, Misis.  Let them lead.

A part of our role is to show respect to our husbands.  God commanded us to do this because He knows that this will make our marriage work.  Regardless of our feelings and longing for our husband's affection, we are to show respect.  I pray that you will decide to be on your husband's side always.

HOW TO SETTLE PART 2

I first talked about settling at home here. I hope you had a grand time sorting and organizing.  Let me continue with my helpful list :)

3.  Wake up early and sleep on time
I try my very best to wake at 4:30 at be in bed at 8:30. To add to this, I also do NOT check my            phone during these times.  My goal is to get up and head to work and or sleep asap.  We all know what happens when we have our phones agad!  ;)

4.  End house work at a certain time
Since the work at home never ends, you have to end it yourself.  Let me share to you the sked that I follow.  The goal is to stop house work at 10:00 am kahit may natira pa.

4:30 - wake up, prep breakfast, sweep and mop(kitchen/living room areas), load clothes at washing machine

5:30 - coffee with Bryan, Devotions

6:15 - Bryan leaves for work, continue with Devotions, Journalling, Planner-ing ;)

7:00 - Risen wakes up, I continue with my devotions while Risen bikes or plays, clean bedrooms

10:00 - END HOUSE WORK

10:15 - Hello Social Media and freelancing work :)

11:30 - lunch, screen/play time for Risen while I read or work

2:30 - Homeschooling time

4:30 - Dishes, housework, prep dinner

5:15 - Bryan arrives, dinner, quality time with Bryan, load clothes in washing machine

8:30 - sleep

5.  Know what to let go then drop it
I am first a christian, wife, mom, freelancer then church volunteer.  This is clear but what made this list more specific was when I (actually Bryan's idea) listed down the responsibilities that go under it.  When I itemized it, I was put to shame when I realized I should not be complaining on my housework because I am a wife and mom first.  I should not also rant when I can't work on my laptop, because again, I am a homemaker first.  Since my freelancing and ministry work comes last, I should work on it last too :)  To add, I should be an example to Risen on how I react to chores.  Also, I should be excited to God's whisper "I am pleased" when I work around the house with a smile.

My tip?  Work on your FIRSTS.  Drop the others and you will see on how God will arrange your time when you honor him and His priorities first.



6.  Remember that it starts from your home
I believe that good managers start from the home first. If you can't manage your household, your time, your finances, how can you assure your clients, employees, friends that you can help them out?

To summarize, know who you are, Misis :)  When you realize and accept who you are first, the laundry, dishes, and cleaning gets done with a smile.




HOW TO SETTLE AT HOME PART 1

In my previous blog, I shared that we were only able to settle to 2018 mid January.  It was a rough take off , however, we are just really happy to finally made it to the new year kahit late.  Before I give you a run down of the things we did to arrive on our 2018, let me give you some signs of a person who has not moved into 2018 yet.  Or better yet, an indication of a home that has yet to  adopt in to a steady phase.  If you nod on my every point (or at least half), you likely need tips on how to settle too.

1.  you sleep tired and you wake up tired
2.  you do the same amount and length of chores repeatedly, e.v.e.r.y d.a.y!!
3.  you can't find your comb, the new ketchup you bought, and the tiny gun of your son's robot
4.  you have clutters, actually no, you have many clutters
5.  you are overwhelmed with chores that you do not know where to begin
6.  you find your home, 24 hours, chaotic
7.  lastly, laging mainit ulo mo

How did I know?  This all happened to me for 2 weeks  ;)

Okay, enough of the dump, let us now handle this. Ready?  First step...

Organize your home.  Wait, do not get scared.  Once you know the ins and outs of your house, it would solve 50 percent of your problem.  Promise!  Do not worry, I will not leave you with this big word, I will walk with you through it.  Okay, so how do we organize?

1.  Throw, give and sell the following:
- Double or triple items
- clothes, bags, and shoes that do not fit and you don't wear

Yes, I know this will be HARD.  So may isa pa akong tip.  What you do is bag all these things first.  Do not give or sell them yet.  Just put them in a bag or box.  After a few months, you would realize you can live without them.  By this time, it would be easier to let go.
Good luck!  You can do it, Misis!

I gave my big bag of clutter to someone who has a big family.  I did not bother selling them kasi na stress pa ko dun.  But, if you want to earn from your clutter, go ahead and plan a garage sale.  If not, pamigay mo na lahat para no worries at all.

2.  Organize your home.  In short, pagsama samahin ang pare pareho.
This is still connected with my first tip.  After you have decided what to keep and what not to keep, plan out the things inside your home.  An organized home is equivalent to having a system.  Dapat may sistema misis.  Here are my examples:

1.  I only have 3 sets of bed sheets, blanket and punda.  All this are packed in one set, so isang kuhanan lang.  na ka group na sila.

2.  Risen's toys can't be played at the same time.  Naka group din sila.  Two at a time lang pwedeng ilabas.  When he is done playing with 2 sets and he wants to play with another set, he has to return the toys he is playing with, then saka lang ilalabas yung iba.

3.  I love cooking and spices.  Lahat din nasa isang lalagyan with visible expiration dates. Also, I make sure nasa maayos na lalagyan, not in plastics. Plastics can be messy.  Invest in clear bottles with lables and lalagayan.

4.  The biggest throw I did was with my clothes.  Ang sarap ng konti ang damit.  Yes, that is true for me :)  I have less choices so less time in figuring out what to wear.  I am actually leaning toward having a uniform and same set of clothes.

5.  Lastly, I made it a rule, that if it has no place in our home, it is considered a clutter.  So if nakatago lang sya with no purpose, I give it away.

Can you imagine your personal bag having  a screw driver, sponge, and used socks?  Hindi di ba?  I am sure when you see those in your bag, you would leave it somewhere or throw it away.  The same thing with your house.  You have got to let go!

IF you still think you are not ready, try one department first.  It will be fun and worth it, I promise! :)