ON BEING SINGLE

I have been single up until I was 25 years old.  I was one of the girls who decided to only enter relationships when I know I am ready to get married.  With this idea stuck in my head, I had a chance to fully enjoy my single life.  Wait, fun for me did not mean playing around. It was more of culture immersions, meeting people, trying different and wholesome activities, volunteering to community work, traveling, studying, and basically, thinking for myself.  Sounds egoistic? Maybe.  It was fun though :P.  I got to do what I want, anytime with anyone.  Spell FREEDOM.

biking at Boracay - 2005
Puerto Galera
Now that I said yes to marriage, spell ADJUSTMENT.  I can now distinguish the difference between the worlds of being unattached to the world of being committed (in its truest essence).  Worlds that are diverse yet intertwined.  In the beginning of our relationship, I thought I could pull this off easily, but oh man, I was so wrong!


One of the adjustments I have to exert effort to is, thinking for two.  This is from scheduling, to budgeting, to going out (with him or without him), to dressing up, to almost everything.  I am not complaining, it is just that, all my life, I have only considered myself.  I do not ask for anyone’s opinion.  Alone or with someone, I move on with my plans.  This is me!   Now, it is different.   I have to regard what he suggests and thinks (which is just right, db?).
 
Another tuning I had to do is, trying things for him (which I enjoy).  I now cook.   I have been cooking but I only prepare what I eat. Now, I look into the cuisines that he loves.  The cooler part is when he tastes it.  Sometimes, I get it perfect, but minsan singko (according to Bry, the effort is always uno, naks).  Good thing, I am marrying an Ilokano, thus boiled veggies will complete his meal - jackpot! What worries me though is when I start to think that this is would be a routine.  When I have to wake up early and prepare food on the table -- inspired or not.  Hay, I wish I would have Mama’s energy and passion for this. 

Aside from cooking, I am also starting to be extra responsible at chores and home care.  My parents’ decision on allowing me to live on my own has been so helpful. When I moved out, I told myself, party –party na to!  I was wrong though.  Being alone made me go home early because I had dishes to keep, restroom to clean, clothes to fold and a little home to sanitize.  Plus the unending question of, “Ano kaya lulutuin ko mamaya?”  Not to mention the budgeting I had to do.  Haaaay, the joys and pains of living alone.  What a life learning experience!

Sounds fun? I am sure it is, and it looks like a big change too.  Thinking for two and taking good care of a home and another person (plus other undiscovered paths) seems overwhelming but wonderful.   Am I just magnifying things? Maybe.  Knowing myself, I would rather prepare than be caught off guard.  Nevertheless, I am still single, so spell PRACTICE.


Below are a few of my single-spontaneous-get-aways:


about to leave Bohol.  Cebu, next

River wading at Bohol

Boracay