The write up below are my thoughts
on the issue of “being in a relationship with a non-Born Again Christian”. Please note that I am not against people in
different faith. This is just me
verbalizing the possible difficulties of the choice of inter-faith relationship..
It is difficult to see God’s
perfect will when you are in love. I
HAVE BEEN THERE. In general, feelings
can make people blind. Our hearts can
destroy us. With this, the Christian church supports different ways on how to make
relationships work but is final
on one thing. All churches,
strongly pushes that a Christian should only be with a Christian. Apparently,
with this mandate, the Christian church only tells us one thing on why
Christians should not marry a
Non-C. You have probably heard it a
million times from your Pastor’s teaching – yes you are right, it is the verse “Don’t team up with those who are
unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light
live with darkness? 15What
harmony can there be between Christ and the devild?
How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?” – 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
I am for this verse, of course. God’s word is powerful. It can convict and change people. However, just like any verses, it needs
illustrations and examples for the minds and hearts of the young and the old. Reality check - people in love will find no
reason to break up with their Non-C boyfriend and girlfriend.
So, instead of giving you the big
chunk of 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, let me cut it into smaller pieces. I hope that these practical reasons will
enlighten you as how it enlightened me. Below is a list of my random thoughts when it
comes to a “C – Non-C relationship”
1.
BENG IN A RELATIONSHIP LEADS TO MARRIAGE
- Would you want to marry the same, exact person he or she is now? Not thinking that he would change faith or
attitude or persona. My tita Boots
always tell me, decide on what is happening now, not on what you think (or pray) will happen in the
future. If he would remain or go back to his faith once you are married, is
that okay with you?
2. LESS
ISSUES ON WEDDING PLANNING - One of the questions engaged couples
have to answer is, “Where will we get married?”. If you have the same faith, you may easily
point out a church or a garden. No need
for two ceremonies or one ceremony that only favors one. Less gastos. Plus no
remarks like “Born Again kasi napangasawa, kaya dito yung kasalan” or vice
versa.
3. CHRISTIAN
BA? SAN SYA NAG CHU-CHURCH? (and the other embarrassing questions to answer)- Oh my. This is awkward. Imagine introducing him or her to your church
family, then one tita would ask:
Tita:
“Christian ba?”.
You:
“Hindi po…” or “Hindi pa po..” or “po?...”
Or
Tita:
Hello. San ka nag
chu-church?
Your
bf or gf: Hindi po ako nag chu-church”
or…..”Dyan po sa iba…”
or “Hindi ko po kayo kapareho …”
This
is one difficult question to face that might even cause a discussion between
you and your boyfriend or girlfriend after.
Are you ready for a lot of like these?
4.
NEXT TO GOD, IT WOULD BE YOUR
WIFE/HUSBAND– My first
Christmas gift to Bryan
5.
IT IS FUN TO BE IN CHURCH WITHOUT
HAVING TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING – Have
you ever attended a service where it turned to be a class because you need to
explain what is happening? Then the feeling of nervousness comes because you fear
that the sermon would “hurt” you or the person you are with. Or if your church has praise and worship and
it makes you distracted because your bf/gf is just staring blankly while
everyone sings, claps and raises their hands.
These were difficult for me. How
about for you?
6.
LESS DISCUSSION ON INTIMACY – Physically intimacy is real. It is true to people who love and do not love
each other. Both to Christians and
non-Christians. If you are in a
relationship with a Christian, I believe it is easier to say “no”. You can just say, physical intimacy is a
sin. End of discussion.
7.
FAMILY RELIGIOUS EVENTS – Okay. Let me take you to a bigger
picture. When you get married, it would also
feel great to have a good relationship with your husband’s of wife’s family
members. To ensure quality relationship,
you have to sometimes practice their traditions and practices. Now, these habits could be faith or religion
based. IF your gf or bf agrees with his
or her family traditions, you are alone
in this battle. Whether you like it or
not, you have to do these practices.
Would you want that? It does not
stop here. Think 10 years after. Would you want your children to do these
traditions as well?
8.
RAISING KIDS – I am not yet a mother, but I am
teacher so I am familiar on the issue of “Raising Kids”. Based on my observation and studies, both the
mother and father need to have an equal share and participation when it comes
to guiding their kids. However, it is
real that parents would have different ways on how they were raised. This is already complicated. Imagine, having different perspective on
doing this? IF you are on the same
faith, you can go back to the basic. For Christians, we can go back to the
Bible. If you are marrying a Non-C,
then, what would be your standard?
9.
FEW TALKS ON TITHING, MINISTRIES, ET
AL. – I am excited to do church work with
Bry. I am looking forward to sharing my
burdens for the youth and Christian education.
I am thrilled to share our love stories in Youth Services. I want to travel with him and meet up with
missionaries. I am eager to bless the
church and church workers financially.
Imagine you and your husband or
wife with one heart for the soul and same passion for God’s kingdom. What could be more wonderful?
10.
PRAYER TIME TOGETHER – I love doing this with my boyfriend. I look forward to our dates because at the
end of the day, we would hold hands and thank God for our togetherness. We would also lift up our concerns and
decisions to God. I feel blessed to pray
with my bf because it is the perfect time to be vulnerable and honest to our
Maker. This appointed prayer time makes
me kilig, overjoyed and blessed.
This is even more true every time he tells God how happy and in love he
is with me. It is like being proposed to
over and over again!!. Have you ever prayed aloud with your bf and
gf? If not, you are missing half of your
life.
11. GOD’S BEST – Are you sure your God’s best is the one who is not of the same faith with you?
 |
| Prayer time view at Intramuros, Manila |
 |
| Meet and greet. Bryan's friends from Bohol: Pastor Julius and family. (I fell in love with them after out meet up:) ) |
 |
| Visit at Buyagan Baptist Church. With Pastor Juluis (Bryan's mentor) and wife. |
 |
| Proposal pic after prayer time. Camp John Hay, Baguio City. |
 |
| After a play at my home church. The same day I said, I love you too. |
thank you very much for this. Very encouraging that you take a stand as to what Jesus called for us to do and accomplish, as woman and as His child! :) Godbless!
ReplyDeletevery inspiring.. :)
ReplyDeletemasarap mainlove sa taong alam mong nilaayan sayo ng Lord.. :)
Mark 2:14
ReplyDeleteOn hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
I have been going to church all my life.. and I believe in what you are saying. But, as Christians, we must not label or have that great divide between 'Christians' and what you have called the "non-C's."
Jesus mingled with people here on Earth--- not only to those who were only deemed 'righteous'. You may only be pertaining to dating, but this post has one clear message: You are better than a Non-C. You should then, not mingle, with a non-C. Non-C people do not have a place in your inner circle.
In your post, you said you are happy to serve in your Church. There are people outside your Church who need you. They may be 'non-Cs' but they are the ones who need the Lord the most.
I am torn with what you are saying. I understand the verse you are referring to, but this post appears to be too 'high and mighty.' Lalo na itong point:
IT IS FUN TO BE IN CHURCH WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING – Have you ever attended a service where it turned to be a class because you need to explain what is happening? Then the feeling of nervousness comes because you fear that the sermon would “hurt” you or the person you are with.Or if your church has praise and worship and it makes you distracted because your bf/gf is just staring blankly while everyone sings, claps and raises their hands. These were difficult for me.
Nakaka-sad. :( The Lord's grace is something we cannot fathom. We do not need to "treat the service like a class", if we believe God's power is at work. The fact that a Non-C gets 'exposed' to praise-and-worship, or the Word of God, IS God's desire. You do not need to become the teacher or the savior-of-the day. God's spirit is at work.
dear anonymous number 3 - I hope you read my opening paragraph. I understand what you are saying, but I believe we are on the diferent page...The write up below are my thoughts on the issue of “being in a relationship with a non-Born Again Christian”. Please note that I am not against people in different faith. This is just me verbalizing the possible difficulties of the choice of inter-faith relationship..
DeleteI agree with Mico. =) your blog was really inspiring. You're just talking about being with relationship. same tau, yan din ang mga thoughts ko about relationship, lalo na ung sa kids, mahihirapan akong mapalaki ang mga anak ko na may same faith if their father doesnt have the same faith as mine. Lumaki kasi ako sa Christian family kaya sobra kong naappreciate ang difference ng pagpapalaki ng anak sa isang Christian family. =) God bless you more and write more for God. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks SheAnne...Let us turn more stories into testimonies :)
DeleteI agree with all of your comments. It's an awakening testimony. My boyfriend used to be a non c. I prayed and God answered me with 2 Corinthians. But I prayed again and he gave me Mark. Both of which you guys stated on your comments. After non stop prayers i guess it was time that i share and witness instead of just leaving him. He opened up to me about salvation. It was my opportunity. It wasn't a struggle at all cause I felt that God worked on me. Now my boyfriend and I are Christians, servants of God willing to be used by Him :)
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and your relationship! :)
Delete