FOUR Rs: A Guide to Choosing the "Right" Person

Last Febuary 14, 2014, we got up at 6am and headed to Cafe Breton for a hearty breakfast.  After this, I had my mani and pedi and Bryan had his haircut.  Though this was already a great way to spend Feb 14, we knew something bigger will happen.  That night, we had a chance to share how God moved in our lives through our love story.  A perfect time to share how God authored us.  And since we outlined our testimony, I decided to turn it into a blog. Read on.

**These thoughts and beliefs are in the context of being a born-again christian.  Examples used were also intended for HS and college students.

RIGHT MOTIVE

·         Ready to get married
·         Are you courting her because you need a gf? To show that you have a gf?
·         Have you ever prayed for it?
·         Did you ever pray for a lifetime partner even before you met her?
·         Did you ever ask God to direct you – as to whom to court. 
    
       If your reasons are because you feel lonely and incomplete, bala wala ng dumating, crush ko sya, magulo sa bahay ng parents ko, and kinikilig ako pag kasama ko sya, you might need to think things over.

RIGHT PLACE

·         any place is appropriate as long as the intention is not to hide.  In short, kahit saan basta hindi patago.

RIGHT TIME

·         Ready to make Mico my next priority after God.  After God, si Mico na.  Not my studies,       not my work, not my parents.

·         Assessed myself first
-          Ability to lead
-          Ability to support/sustain a family (has savings, stable income)
-          Ability to make firm decisions
-          Ability to be responsible for someone/family

·         Can fulfill ….
-          God’s plan for married people
-          words, dreams and promises into reality and actions.  It was NOT, balang araw papakasalan kita.  It was more of, liligawan kita kasi kaya at gusto na na kitang pakasalan.

·         You know it is the right time when you do not have to ask if it is the right time

·         Supported by family, friends and churchmates

      We both do not have issues (of the past and present). We are not moving on, kaka break lang, incomplete.

RIGHT PERSON – How did I know it was Bryan?

·         Got to know myself first
-          Comes with age and experience
·         Aware and firm with my non-negotiables
a.    Matured Christian
b.    Not an OFW - because I am not good with long distance relationship
c.    Will move out from his parents
d.    Not a Pastor - because I know I do not want and could not be a Pastor's wife
e.    Ready to get married
f.     Out-going

·         Ready for a clear and announced status
-          NOT “it is complicated”
-          NOT “special friends”
-          NOT “friends pero may kilig at malisya”
-          NOT “mutual understanding”
-          NOT “dedma sa personal pero super close sa FB, Instagram at Twitter”
-          NOT “kuya or ate”
-           
…status should be
-          Nanliligaw sya at nagpapaligaw ako
-          Bf ko sya, gf nya ako
-          Engaged
-          Considering each other for marriage

·         I knew it was him because I did not have to ask

·         He can make me follow

   KEY VERSES:

1 Corinthians 6:12
Everything is permissible but not everything is necessary
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
 For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace

Genesis 2:23-25
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.
Ephesians 5:33
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Corinthians 6:12
Do not be deceived:  Bad company corrupts good morals

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

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