THE OTHER BEST

I believe there are two kinds of best in the world - 
the best on our perspective
 and the best according to God's eyes plan  

I can still painfully remember (yes, may kurot pa din) the moment when we were scrolling down to check Bryan's name in the list of Bar passers - he was seated on his chair while I was on his back, my two hands on his shoulders.  Both our eyes did not blink when we were reading the surnames of the succesful bar examinees.  It just remained closed for a long time when I started to crying as I hugged Bryan from the back.  

I can say it was the most painful stage we have gone through as a married couple so far.  Since I knew Bryan's childhood dream is to be called an attorney, I too fell in love with this profession.  I imagined myself being a wife of a lawyer.  However, many of you know, this dream did not happen (he failed by 0.45), and as of the moment, my husband remains to be a professor in the College of Liberal Arts in Adamson University.

As we were moving on from this sad news, we thought hard on why he was not allowed to pass.  On why God said "no".  Everyone believed in him.  We were certain that this will be the best for our little family.  We claimed it was also a part of God's agenda.  We were convinced that since we offered everything in prayer, and because Bryan did his part, God willl give us the best.  And this best is the title Attorney to the name Bryan Eli Bagasin Sadorra.  

People comforted us by telling that God has other better plans.  We know and believe this, but we have to be honest that there were times this was difficult to see.  I saw myself asking "God, bakit hindi pwedeng maging lawyer si Bryan?  What can be better than this?"  Now that it has been almost a year that my husband took the bar exams, I may not still see God's bigger agenda, however, in my heart I am thankful he is still a teacher.

I am thankful for the short working days, long and paid holidays (summer, semestral break, Christmas vacation),  cancellation of classes (due to programmes) and weekends that Bryan has.  His schedule is not hectic.  He is an available husband, hands-on dad, and a relaxed member of our house.  No stress at work. No overtime.  No competition with his schedule. He does not give us what is left of him because when he comes home (the sun is still up) he is still a ball of energy.

Another thing I am happy about is the friendly, no compromise and healthy working environment.  I worked once in Adamson so I know that one way or another, Bryan is in "good hands".  His friends all go home after work (Bakit nga ba kayo ganyan? Mag kape naman kayo minsan after class!!), they are all family oriented, they have good laughs in between classes, and they treat us as family.  Nothing more I could ask for.

Lastly, we have time for God and his ministry.  To be honest, I am not sure if we can be this active in church (which we are super duper so happy about) if Bryan has another line of work. But as of the moment, we are really grateful for the chance to journey with people.  To serve God and be a witness on how He moves to the lives of the people we are with.

As I type this, I am asking myself if  "I am just bitter".  Well, maybe, sometimes.  However, I am more focused on the idea that this is what is best from God's perspective.  And since we love and trust Him, we should see the beauty of His plan. There is life after a failure.  There is beauty when we align our perspective to His.  Yes, I still want my husband to take the bar exams, but as of the moment, I will enjoy what we have.  

This is from God. This is the other best. This is what is truly the best.