THE TERRIBLE TWO IN OUR MARRIAGE

I thought that only the toddler stage experiences "terrible two".  I did not know that a couple who has been married for two years and up, can also experience this.  This is the time when I sometimes feel that Bryan is terribble  (or the other way around, of course), or I am drawn that the relationship I am in sucks.

I think this happens because...

1.  What looks cute when we were bf-gf, is kind of annoying now.
2.  The little things that I remind my husband about (and again vice-versa) is ALWAYS  forgotten!
           e.g.  Bryan does not like pushing back the chairs he uses and I never wash the dishes (even the                    teaspoons I use for my coffee)
3.  We get physically tired and there are errands that have to be done
4.  We discover qualities that makes us say "Ganyan ka pala!"
5.   I strongly want this, he wants the other badly.
6.  We are two sinful human beings trying to be great in this messy world

So yes, we have been having disagreements and making up this year. We seldom fought on  the first year of our marriage, so this year brought disappointments.  Of course, this is normal naman, however, it should still be faced. These little fights, if not dealt with, may lead to serious complications that can harm us and Risen.

We are on the look out.  I am sharing some things we have been doing because we want our story to help those who are having little difficulties here and there too.  So here...

1.  We have two support groups at the moment from CCF Muntinlupa.  One is the Dgroup under Ptr Roy and Tita Lyn and one is under Albert and Viv.  The first mostly looks into our spiritual growth, ministry, and relationship with the Lord while the second is a community for marriage and parenthood.  These are some of the trusted people whose "kamusta?" is as deep as the Pacific ocean.

2.  We have once a week devotions.  During this time, we try to air our sentiments, questions, stories that are essential to our marriage.  This is intentional. As much as possible we talk about issues, hurts (if there are any), and others. At least once a week we figure out how we are doing as a wife and husband, if we have been improving or lagging.  Marriage is work.  That is why we have to intentionally (love this word) work on it.

3.  Since some of our quarrels is on how to raise Risen, we have decided to read books on parenting and not based everything on how our lovely parents did it.  In books, we receive "expert" advice wherein we can both discuss wihout any biasses.

4.  We go out and spend quality time together.  We buy bottles of wine and chips on those moments we can't leave Risen.  We save for staycations and short trips.  We bond.  We explore places and restaurants.  We make each other as the best buddies we can ever have.

5.  We give each other space  (Since I do not work and I have a gazillion friends, I usually ask for this).  I go out with my friends alone.  I take day-offs.

6.  We both accept the things that won't harm our marriage with a smile,   I just push back the chairs he uses and he washes the teaspoons I used for my coffee.  So there, walang away ;)

7.  We acknowledge and we give way to God's help, direction and guidance.  We have to make sure that we are both growing closer to Him because this is the only way to be closer to each other.  God helps us say "sorry", forgive, and love when we find each other unlovable.

I love being married to an imperfect guy named Bryan.  He is perfect for the imperfect wife like me. To end, let me share this thought...

image not mine