WHAT WE DID TO MAKE RISEN SAY “YES, MOMMY"

Risen suddenly did not want to take baths.  He would reply with a firm “no”.  He also started choosing what he wants for breakfast (rice and fish instead of bread) which was really not an issue at first because fish is healthy.  I just became worried when he started choosing where he wants to eat and how he would eat it.  Then, ito pa -  he started tossing his toys around because he wants to bike outside.  Aba, wait lang....Risen is starting to be my boss!!

I started addressing the issue by giving him time-outs, making sure my “no” was firmer (which resulted to his more decisive and louder “no”), and by threatening him that I would “do this and do that”.  Yes, of course, it would work at times, but you know what? it made me so tired and cranky.  For like two weeks, I did not “enjoy” staying with him at home because we would fight during meal times, bath and play hours.  Away-bati kami.  He would cry and I would me mad.  HAY!  I told Bryan that I feel like a failure because at 3 years old (given that stay-at-home nanay pa ako), I CAN’T MAKE MY SON OBEY ME! Sooooo frustrating.

Good thing, I chanced upon the book “CHILD WISE” in CCT Tagaytay.  We applied the other books (a series on parenting from birth to teens) when Risen was just a month old.  However, I thought that I was doing a good job so we did not actively look for Child Wise (Parenting your Child from 3-7 Years Old).  I was soooo glad when I saw it in their bookstore.  I read it agad agad and found myself saying “ako to”, “si Risen to”, “kami to”, “Si Bryan ganito din”.  So what is in the book?  Ang dami!!  Let me be direct to the point by stating examples.



  BEFORE


AFTER READING CHILD WISE

“Risen, let us take a bath na, okay?”


“Risen, we will take a bath” then expect and demand a response of “yes, mommy.  Risen, take a bath”

“Do you want Yakult or Dutchmill?”

“Risen will drink Yakult.  Go take your seat” then expect and demand a response of “yes, mommy.”

“What do you want to play, Risen?”

“Risen will play trains.”  then expect and demand a response of “yes, mommy.”


AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!  After two days of 1. Not giving Risen a choice (or a lot of choices) and 2.  Demanding a “yes, mommy” in ALL my instructions, he gets it!!!  It was like magic!!

Our bath times are fun now.  We do not struggle at all.  I will just say, "Let us take a bath, Risen" and he will promptly respond with "Yes, mommy.  Take a bath Risen".  And minsan may bonus pa.  He will say "Yes, mommy, take a bath Risen.  Yes mommy, obey Risen." waaaah!  He is finally obeying me! :)

No shouting, no more pilitan, no more threats.  He gladly obliges.  Thank you Lord for Child Wise!

Other things I learned from the book that are applicable in this issue:
1.  We should expect our child to obey more as they grow older
2.   If we grant age-inappropriate "freedoms", they will have a false sense of confidence
3.  A child that is given to many choices will feel "wise in his own eyes"
4.  Children should be rewarded for obedience, not obedient for a reward


In a nutshell, I/we took back the ownership of  freedoms that I/we gave Risen prematurely.