WHAT MATTERS AFTER FOUR YEARS OF BEING MARRIED

I have been trying to write on how marriage with Bryan is like after four years, and honestly, up until now that I am typing this, I am still tongue tied.  Looking back, it was a pretty big year for us.  We moved back to a new home in the south, we decided to let go of our helper, I became an Event Director for Manila Workshops (still a Freelancer though), Bryan is currently a Council of Servant in trainee at CCF Muntinlupa, we are leading our own d-groups (singles and couples) and we are both leaning to the idea of homeschooling Risen.  Wow! All that happened this year!!

But you know what?  On this side of the fence, what really matters is still the (1) two of you, your (2)commitment to each other and (3)your relationship to Jesus.

After four years, what is on top of our earthly priorities is our marriage. Not family.  Not Risen. But marriage. When we decide on our career paths, ministry, raising Risen, and others we always ask, is this helpful to our marriage?  Will this deepen our love to each other?  Will this bring us closer to each other?  If the answer is "no" to any of these questions, most likely, we will not pursue it.  The reason why we got married is because we desire to stay married (the real meaning of marriage, and not just on papers), so if this work, or commitment or hobby or decision or whatever will make us apart, we will not do it.  Marriage first.  I am a wife and Bryan is a husband first. 

And yes, after four years, we want to make sure we value our commitment to each other.  Not just the "ordinary commitment" but the very core of our wedding vows and our every emotion and desires that was poured into it.  By now, I have seen Bry's ups, downs, strengths, weaknesses, fears, dreams, and failures (and vice versa of course), and with that we have been choosing to love each even though we seems unlovable in many occasions.  When we were just engaged, it was difficult to see on how we will mess up or disappoint each other, however, after four years it is so easy to see these characteristics.  What matters now?  Is that we choose to love. to forgive. to love. to forgive. 

Lastly, what really really really matters is our relationship with Jesus and our decision to obey His plan for our marriage.  Not easy, but you know what?  we have seen His favor when we follow His word.  It is hard to be faithful but we just do what we have to do because we both know that if our hearts are aligned to God, that is the only way that our marriage will grow and deepen.  We still have so much love to give and we can only continue on falling in love with each other through God.

That is why ladies (yes ladies) do not settle for what you think is appropriate for you.  Choose the person that God has for you because after four years of getting married, if things were not chosen under God's guidance, marriage could easily drift apart.  Your husband should do what he has to do. He has to love God above all else, pursue you with his might and understands the real meaning of commitment.  

What matters after four years of being married is Jesus and your decision to stick to his plan of how marriage should be like.  Your husband should model this to you.  He should be sure about his relationship with God, focused on obeying God's design for married people and be able to pursue you in many ways.  After all, he was instructed to love his wife no matter how difficult it would be.