THE BEST PRACTICES IN HANDLING MARITAL DIFFERENCES

Did you know that Bryan married a poor girl?  

What I had was photos of my travel life and pairs of shoes.  I also had tons of places I was able to tick off my list and empty bottles of tanning lotion.  Yes, I was the carefree, spend (or shall I say swipe) it all, "I don't care if I will be hungry as long as I get in that plane" type of girl.

So when Bryan met me in Adamson (I filed a leave after a week of being employed because of a trip to Boracay), I had tan lines but zero money in the bank.   On the other hand, he was the guy who had savings, insurance policies and a debt free life.  Can you just imagine the shock of our lives when we got engaged and discovered this?

Well, I was thankful because he did not judge nor loved me less because what I only have was memories of the salary I received.  On the other haNd, I also did not abhor a guy who saved money all his life but was not able to go see places (insert sarcasm here hehe). 

Anyway, my point is, you will meet  or probably marry people in your life that are totally your opposite.   That is why I do not really believe in compatibility as a sole basis of an existing relationship, trust me, it will be a shakier ride.

So what are my other points?  

1.  If you planning to get married, disclose the skeletons in your closet.  Let your partner know your health issues, money/debt status, and others.  Haaayyy I have an epic fail story that I will blog about when my heart is ready ;)

2.  Ponder on the things you would argue about.  During our pre-marital counselling, we decided if (1) we can/should give monetary support to our parents - which we both agreed to (2) we will allow relatives/friends to stay for long periods at home - "yes" as well (3) going abroad will be our option (4) how soon will we leave and cleave (5) others

3.  If it is not a sin, let it go :)  Bryan splashes our whole restroom with water when he takes a bath, while I leave my coffee cups in different areas of our home.  Though it still makes us comment on this, we know we can both let it go because we can't brand these as "sins".

4.  Aside from accepting your partner for who they are, love them for who they are.  Do not merely accept them, love their flaws.  Be the missing gap on the things they can't do.  Appreciate what they do best and fill up their love tanks often.



5.  Differences and past(s) may come when you least expect it.  Look at the things that you do not agree with but do not put all your energy there.

6. Lastly, as early as now, discover what you do not agree about and ask yourself if you can REALLY live with this ALL YOU LIFE (e.g. guy does not want to disclose passwords or girl is still friends with her ex) . Do not think that they will change over time or when you start having kids.  Remember that you have to look at the current situation and not on what you think may happen in the future. Decide based on what is happening now.

Remember that the key is to LOVE your spouse and not only accept them for who they are.  Loving involves seeing pass their negative behaviors and focusing on what is lovely, admirable and Christ-like.