Showing posts with label 2013. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2013. Show all posts

WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TREAT A HUSBAND?

I was checking out Facebook when I saw an article that suggests that a husband should be treated like a best friend.  I must say I was not convinced.

I believe that the best way to treat a husband is to treat him like a husband.

I am not a marriage expert nor a woman who has been married for a long time, but  I want to acknowledge God, who by the way, initiated marriage.  Therefore, He also has the say of how it should be.  Marriage has a very wonderful and unique design and it could only be at its best if couples will follow God’s blueprint. 

What is the basic plan?

Husbands, love your wife.  Wives, respect and submit to your husbands. 

Obviously, this is not how we treat our best buddies.  Why?  Because again, marriage is so special that God has designed an exceptional plan to make it work beautifully. 

Day to day, I strive to be the best wife to Bryan and day to day I falter. Nonetheless, instead of losing hope and being a mediocre wife, I cling on to God's grace because He alone can sustain me.  

What do I do?  I make sure I don't treat him like a friend because if that would be the case, I would not be intentional in serving, loving and submitting to him.  That would also mean taking him for granted and hoping that we can easilly re-connect, as if nothing has changed. And also that would mean getting mad at him and not doing anything about it because I know we would make peace in a few days.  

Yes, I think you can be friends with your hubsters, but may consider treating him like a husband first, then the rest of the "relationship types" can follow.

What do you think?  Maybe the video can also help 








ON LOVE AND TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT IT

This is probably the most rewarding, fulfulling and productive vday I have ever had. To begin, I spent it with Bryan. Then we had the chance to do the things we love that looked forward doing since we werw engaged with the people that matters to us.

It was Feb 13, Saturday when the Singles Fellowship of CCF Muntinlupa had the Event entitled
"On a Personal Note, Ang Concert ng Sari-Saring Love Stories".  This music night featured the different phases of love thru songs.  The ambiance was so relaxed, fun and interactive.  Parang group videoke lang!  This fun night turned out to be more special because Bryan and I had a chance to share how God puzzled our stories, lives and hearts together.  Such a pleasure to speak about our friendship, engagement and marriage. 





full house at Qaldi Coffee Bar
with Joy

On the second day of our Vday weekend, we spent it with our D-group (young couples) a.k.a Sanity friends.  It was such a fun meet-up because we got to answer a few questions from the youth of Danielle's home church..  Here are some of the inquiries we got:

1.  Paano ko po malalaman kung mahal ako nung babae?
2.  Ilang taon po pwedeng mag-asawa?
3.  Bakit po hindi ako crush ng crush ko?
4.  may nangyari po sakin nung bata ako, may magmamahal pa po ba na lalaki sa akin?

After our 45 minutes question and answer stint, we gather to talk about God's design for marriage.

                                
panel :)


To cap-off, we are so thankful that we had a chance to share our love for each other and God's love to us.  It would be difficult to stay in-love without His love and grace.  My desire is we would know what God's love is all about because this is the only way we can truly love each other.  (Please check Risen's ribbon below hehe)



Aaaannnddd wait, let me share the sprinkles on top of my full vday.  It ended so sweetly.  Thank you, Bryan!  I can't wait to love you more and tell the world about it!


THE TERRIBLE TWO IN OUR MARRIAGE

I thought that only the toddler stage experiences "terrible two".  I did not know that a couple who has been married for two years and up, can also experience this.  This is the time when I sometimes feel that Bryan is terribble  (or the other way around, of course), or I am drawn that the relationship I am in sucks.

I think this happens because...

1.  What looks cute when we were bf-gf, is kind of annoying now.
2.  The little things that I remind my husband about (and again vice-versa) is ALWAYS  forgotten!
           e.g.  Bryan does not like pushing back the chairs he uses and I never wash the dishes (even the                    teaspoons I use for my coffee)
3.  We get physically tired and there are errands that have to be done
4.  We discover qualities that makes us say "Ganyan ka pala!"
5.   I strongly want this, he wants the other badly.
6.  We are two sinful human beings trying to be great in this messy world

So yes, we have been having disagreements and making up this year. We seldom fought on  the first year of our marriage, so this year brought disappointments.  Of course, this is normal naman, however, it should still be faced. These little fights, if not dealt with, may lead to serious complications that can harm us and Risen.

We are on the look out.  I am sharing some things we have been doing because we want our story to help those who are having little difficulties here and there too.  So here...

1.  We have two support groups at the moment from CCF Muntinlupa.  One is the Dgroup under Ptr Roy and Tita Lyn and one is under Albert and Viv.  The first mostly looks into our spiritual growth, ministry, and relationship with the Lord while the second is a community for marriage and parenthood.  These are some of the trusted people whose "kamusta?" is as deep as the Pacific ocean.

2.  We have once a week devotions.  During this time, we try to air our sentiments, questions, stories that are essential to our marriage.  This is intentional. As much as possible we talk about issues, hurts (if there are any), and others. At least once a week we figure out how we are doing as a wife and husband, if we have been improving or lagging.  Marriage is work.  That is why we have to intentionally (love this word) work on it.

3.  Since some of our quarrels is on how to raise Risen, we have decided to read books on parenting and not based everything on how our lovely parents did it.  In books, we receive "expert" advice wherein we can both discuss wihout any biasses.

4.  We go out and spend quality time together.  We buy bottles of wine and chips on those moments we can't leave Risen.  We save for staycations and short trips.  We bond.  We explore places and restaurants.  We make each other as the best buddies we can ever have.

5.  We give each other space  (Since I do not work and I have a gazillion friends, I usually ask for this).  I go out with my friends alone.  I take day-offs.

6.  We both accept the things that won't harm our marriage with a smile,   I just push back the chairs he uses and he washes the teaspoons I used for my coffee.  So there, walang away ;)

7.  We acknowledge and we give way to God's help, direction and guidance.  We have to make sure that we are both growing closer to Him because this is the only way to be closer to each other.  God helps us say "sorry", forgive, and love when we find each other unlovable.

I love being married to an imperfect guy named Bryan.  He is perfect for the imperfect wife like me. To end, let me share this thought...

image not mine






WAIT!! DO NOT GET MARRIED YET!

Yes, you are hearing this from someone who has been enjoying marriage for almost three years now.  I guess, this is the main reason why I am "warning" those who want to get married to consider the following below.  We have seen how a marriage could be ugly if done carelessly. It can be disappointing if you just jump on it. In many of our intentional talks about our relationship, we have seen how it really takes two  three (God plus us) to run this commitement.

1.  If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, marry someone of the same faith.  I have heard girls (and some boys) say that "okay lang, kasi mabait at responsible naman".  Let me tell you straight that in many decisions that you will make as a husband and wife, you do not need a man who is only kind and responsible.  Go, ask christian couples.  See what they have to say.  I am sure they would tell you that you need a man who will solely rely on God and His direction for your lives. I hope the hand you are holding now is the kind of hands who open up the Bible and commune with God thru prayer.  Because again, hindi pwedeng mabait lang.  Let me convince you more.  Read this

2.  Consider having your own home/apartment first.  Leave and cleave.  Allow your husband to be a leader or your wife to be a real homemaker.  After all, marriage is all about to having your own family so let it be.  It feels good to play "lutu-lutuan" and "bahay-bahayan" with the person you married.  Money may be an issue here, with that, go back to my title - "Wait!! Do Not Get Married Yet!".  To add read up on what Maricar Reyes has to say (wife to Ricahrd Poon) on this.

3.  Be sure to keep an "after wedding money".  A lot of people have told me to never borrow money (loan, use credit card, ask for money, etc) for a wedding because it is not good to start a new life with utang.  I agree with this, plus, to make sure to not spend all your savings for the wedding.  The married life is more important than the event that will only happen for a day. It would be nice if you could follow-up a wedding with spontaneous dates, staycations or even family visits.  Remember that a wedding should not make you broke.  It needs not be expensive.  You can always DIY, invite the closests, be a minimalist and creative.

second night as a married couple in Estancia Tagaytay

4.  Plan a honeymoon.  The first thing that we paid for was our plane ticket to Bangkok and Phuket.  We do not have anything yet but we already had bookings for honeymoon (which I am very glad we did).  Yes, we were that excited! I guess that for a couple who decided to wait (our first kiss was at the altar), this is something that is really cherished and looked forward too.  Our seven day honeymoon plus a long vacation was so worth the wait.  I hope you will choose to really enjoy your honeymoon too.







5. Having a baby can be "accepted" but it should not be a reason to get married.  I do not know how to put this without being too direct.  Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.  A baby does not only need parents.  He would want a mother and a father who loves each other as well.

6.  Talk about it.  Do not just discuss it between the two of you but have someone guide you, ask you difficult questions, mentor you and show you what marriage is all about.  Yes, marriage is different from every couple, but it would not hurt to get wisdom from the seasoned ones.  It will helpful to see what could be difficult and answer it with all honesty because one way or another, you will have to deal with it in the future. 

7.  Marry for the right reasons.  Not because you want to escape from responsibilities, not because you want to be away from home, not because to have a family (because what if God won't give you kids?), not because you are already old, not because of financial freedon, not because of convenience.  Get married because you have chosen to love and will choose to love the same person for a lifetime and lastly and most importantly, because it is clear that this is what God wants you to be and do.


THE STRUGGLE OF WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MAN IS REAL

I was always thought as the girl who will never to get married.  At that time, I did know if I should take it as a compliment or a disease.  However, one thing I know, the struggle of waiting for a  possible husband is real and in many times, really really painful.

There was always the question of, "Am I not pretty? Why can't men be interested?".  When I was unattached, one of the strongest lies I had to face (especially when it was raining or almost Christmas) was my image.  I  thought that if I had the perfect hair I could flip in front of a cute guy or the perfect teeth I could flash when being introduced or the flawless skin the world would seem kinder.  That maybe, if I was like "her", someone would be paying attention.  Or maybe if I was cool enough, the guys would notice.  In many times, I tried.  In those many times, I failed.  In some nights, I cried.

Then, there was the truth that most of my batchmates were either married or engaged, and here I am without any prospects.  As in zero.  Wala.  Nada.  None. Empty.  I somewhat hated friendster, Facebook and pre-nup pictures and videos then!  It seemed that time that everyone I know was having a blissful ending except me.  They are all talking about motiffs, rings and the love of their lives and here I am wandering and wondering if someone will come.  

Third, then titas and titos asking the famous "Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?". "Kelan ka mag-aasawa?", "O, asan na? Kelan mo papakilala".  I abhor these questions!!!! Gggggrrrr!!! I would sometimes just try to be funny with my reply or '"smile" but the truth was I want to bang each one of them on the head  tell them with disgust na, "wala!!!! wala!!!! wala!!!!"  Plus a follow-up statement that says "I feel pressured already, so please do not rub it in!"

Fourth, the age!!  I knew that time that the more I get older, my value becomes lesser.  Need I say more?

Lastly was the question of  reality.  In many situations, I asked myself "What if there is really none?"  "What if I am one of the girls who will never ever be loved?" "What if I was born to be alone and matandang dalaga?".  This idea scared me a lot of times.  It got sssooooo worried about my future.  It made me ask God in tears on why there was no man?  On why can't I be in a relationship? "On when will I say I love you too"  On why am I still single and worst was still wanting each and every day to have a man?

As much as I want to tell all the single ladies and gents that it will come, I won't because I too am not sure if it really will (told you, the struggle is real).    However, I want to let you know that I also cried buckets of tears for many nights because no one texts me goodnight.  In many Christmases, I wonder if someone would still be interested.  In many occassions I tried to accept that I would end up single all my life. That I thought that the only love story I will have are the movies I watched on cable.  Yes, I struggled too and I did not exactly know the solid steps I did to fight my fears of being single all my life.  Yes, the struggle is real.  It is painful.  It is normal.  It may be long, really long.  

 And now to us who are married.  We are not better than our classmate, or officemate, or churchmate or enemy who is still single.  Our boyfriends or husbands and relationship statuses are not trophies to be waved on the faces of those still looking for true love.  Our marriages and families do not necessarily mean "God loves us more" or that we are "blessed" to the point that the single ladies and gents are under discipline by God.  Let us stop asking the wonderful single people on when they will get married (Unless you want to be asked on when you will get an annulment).  There is NOTHING wrong with them. They are pretty.  Maybe even prettier than you. Let them travel the world, succeed in their places of interests, earn and spend money without thinking much.  Allow them to attend reunions without dates and do not question them about it.  Make them appreciate their single lives to the point that they would care less that no one is interested.  Let them be. Leave them alone.

Again, the struggle of waiting for the right man is real.  It is painful.  It is scary.  So please, do not rub it in!

image not mine




MY DISCIPLESHIP GROUP aka SANITY FRIENDS

When I got married, moved to Manila and had Risen, I realized one thing, it was a little hard to catch up with friends.  In many times, I would miss people.  I sometimes long to be surrounded by my friends to just talk, talk and talk.  FB does not make any justice.  I NEED TO SEE MY FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE!! As many of you would know, stay at home moms need A LOT of social life! I am not shouting, just making a point ;)

That's why, I am just so thankful for my Discipleship Group from CCF Muntinlupa - they are my sanity group!   They allow me to tell all, laugh and pray about my (and our) experiences, ask, see the beauty in things I thought were ugly, cry and just really be myself.  At the end of my lovely and crazy life as a woman, wife and mom, it feels good to have a group of people where you can confess and not be judged.  My D-group is just always so ready with pieces of advice, prayers and food to share! - always! :)




Aside that my D-group are my instant friends, I also can't deny that they inspire me to be closer to God.  In many times, they check-up on me.  Their lives and words encourage me to honor, follow and submit to God.  They make me see that marriage and family life should not be all private.  Stories with them are always welcome, kept in secret and ended up with prayers.



It is wonderful to be surrounded with friends who checks-up on you and your relationship with family and God.  If you want a support group as well, you can send me a message and I will connect you to one.

MAY THIS ENTRY AFFIRM MY LOVE TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY

I have learned how to respect the LGBT community back in college. My four year stay in the Philippine Normal Univesity made me witness how these group of people shone as student leaders, organization presidents, class wizards and talented individuals.

the people in this photo may not be a part of the LGBT community
My connection with them did not stop when I graduated.  Up until now, I have very good friends who are gays and lesbians.  I guess, from respect, I have also learned to gladly love and treasure them.  I have heard their stories, both beautiful and painful, and I can say that their wanting to be "accepted" is real and deep.  They are just like you and me who also want to be "liked" by the people around them.  Their longing to be with someone is also genuine.  It is not because of lust nor of just being in a relationship.  Just like us, at the end of the day, they want to be able to call someone their own.  

However, I also believe that no marriage or person can make someone complete.  Maybe for some (both homosexual and straight) they think that tying the knot with someone is like a trophe that they can wave proudly.  Maybe even, for some, they feel that the "cure" to being lonely and unloved is marriage, which is by the way really really wrong.

So what do I want to say?

In my journey, I have seen, learned and fully embraced that the only way to feel accepted is through Jesus Christ.  In Him, we would not feel that we "need" to be legally with someone just to be happy. With Jesus, we would see weddings and love life as bonuses and not as the "main object". Truly, with God, we are complete.

My desire for every unmarried person (both in and out of the LGBT community) is to see that marriage should not be taken like a pill. It is not like a medicine that could make us feel better.  It is not like a magic wand that can give instant results.  It will not guarantee happiness, acceptance and forever.

So what is my stand?

Discover the author of marriage first.  Know God and His wonderful plans for you.  Move towards it. Then as you do, I am sure He would lead you to what is best for you - and yes, this may include marriage! :)

  





SINGLES, SOME OF YOUR DREAMS WILL HAVE TO WAIT WHEN YOU GET MARRIED

Do not get me wrong, I am happily married with Bryan but I just want to remind those who are so excited (too giddy that they only see the romantic aspect) to get married to look into the "non-romantic" side.  At times, we only see the beauty of being together with our one great love that we do not think about the possibilities of the future.  Though these issues may be inevitable, it is still good to check our hearts and minds if we are ready to be selfless, delay or give-up the things we have been so used to and or support someone as we abandon what makes us alive.

It is always good to sit down and check with our future spouse if they would be willing to compromise on certain aspects of their lives.  At the end of the day, married couples are still individuals who have ambitions, likes, dreams and curiosities.  Enumerate the things that you still want to do and things that you would be willing to give-up.

Take I, for example.  I was not able to finish my Masters when I was single and I believe it would be difficult now.  Is finishing my Masters a dream? Definitely a "yes!!".  Do I think I can enroll anytime? "Nope" - Going back to school would mean expenses, less time with my little family, shorter sleep and almost zero social life.  So, hindi na lang muna.  There goes my dream of finishing my Masters.  It is slowly fading away.





Another thing that I had to give up are my lakwatsa days.  I used to travel A LOT and obviously I can't do this now.  As much as I want to be spontaneous and go places, hindi na pwede.  Not that Bryan does not like going around, it is just that we have to consider ourselves plus Risen.  We need to check our skeds, safety, environment will go to, health, budget, weather, etc.  Before kasi, walang isip isip.  Alis lang ng alis ;)







Lastly, remember the bag and shoes you have been eyeing? That new gadget that you promised yourself you will buy the next payday? That too might not be easy to get.  When you get married, your money is not yours anymore.  It is already a "shared resource" for bills, rents, vaccines, emergency stuff, etc. 





So, singles, know what you want and enjoy it now.  Keep dreaming and aspiring (and actively doing something about it) because  you might not have the room for it when you get married.  It is important that you enjoy what you love now so you will not regret slowing down when you tie the knot.  At least, you can say "na-enjoy ko na yan!  ok lang kahit hindi ko na magawa or mabili ngayon..."

Let this be a warning to all singles.  Your life will change when you get married and have a family.  Be sure that aside from being in love and or pregnant (sorry I had to be direct), you have other reasons of walking down the aisle. It is better to be single than to marry for the wrong reasons.

I am not being negative, just being realistic.  This is me showing you the "other side" of marriage. I love being married and I think I am enjoying it because I knew or accepted from the beginning which can't me mine anymore!   However, if you married "early" or for the "wrong" reasons, God's wonderful plans did not change.  I am sure He has all these good things for you as well!   He can work and redeem your love story!

Think about it.  Pray hard.  Ingat! :)






TO THE MAN WHO TOLD ME THAT MARRIAGE IS ONLY "FUN" ON THE FIRST YEAR

                                                     



By God's grace, our marriage is still fun po.

It may not be perfect but it is still awesome.  Though your "reminder" was a little off (especially that you mentioned it a week after our wedding), it made me very mindful to make each day count.

To make sure that arguments end with forgiveness.  That miscommunication end with clarification. That we still make each other a priority though we have Risen.  That we put God in every decision we make.

Your "reminder" also made me realize that making marriage fun all through life is a bit challenging but it is doable.  Good thing, we are not alone. The creator of marriage also wants our relationship to not just work. God wants also to be romantic, fun, beautiful and inspiring.

We have only been married for two and a half years so we know that the next years are really unknown. Marami pa po kaming kakaining bigas.  However, we have seen and met couples who have been married for the longest time but are still very excited about each other and their marriage.  They are our inspiration.  We have God and we have these inseparable couples to look up to.  

So just in case you would ask po, yes, I would love to marry the crazy man I am with again and again and again.  








From Being MARRIED To Becoming IT'S COMPLICATED

from love to bleh
from kisses to turned backs
from holding hands to walking apart from each other
from  long sweet talks to silence
from being married to becoming it's complicated






What happened, love birds?


I do not have specific answers but I have a list of the possible things that might be harming your marriage.  These are mostly principles from the Bible and  I chose this to be on top of the list because I believe that God gave very specific instructions for happy and ideal relationships.  I am not an expert myself so I always make sure to go back to His words. Isn't it great that God made sure we have guidelines to help us with our lives?  Yes, even with our marriage!  If we choose to obey them, we will surely have a better life. So if you are a believer of God and His Word, this might be helpful for you and your marriage.

1.  You still live with your parents or in-laws
As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." Ephesians 5:31

2.  Husbands, you do not show your love to your wife and wives, you do not show respect to your husband
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"Ephesians 5:23-25

3.  You need to forgive
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

4.  You have the wrong set of priorities. 
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.- Matthew 6:33
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22

5.  Your roles have changed.  The wives have become the leader and the husbands the follower.
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - Ephesians 5:23-25

let me also add a thing or two from my observation...

6.  You still have your kid/s in the middle of your bed

7.  There is too  much use of gadget while inside the car, before going to sleep, inside the restaurant, or even during "family time"

8.  You have a long distance relationship

9.  Work or sleep has taken over Sabbath day

As I mentioned earlier, I am not an expert on marriage.  However, we are blessed to have a very supportive D-group and church who counsels and teaches us how to protect our marriages.  In our D-group at CCF Muntinlupa, I and Bryan sit down with other couples where we discuss our issues, blessings and questions on motherhood, fatherhood, work, relationships, or generally, with our married life.  Then in our church, we have topics where we are pointed out to the giver of all things - Jesus!!We also have retreats and other events solely for married couples.  It is good to be surrounded by people who values their marriages. I hope that you will choose to also be with other couples who sees marriage as sacred, pure and God given.

Marriage was created by God and He wants it to always be a "top of the world experience".  It is not His will to be sour and empty.  If you or your marriage needs help and you have questions with the list that I wrote, you can PM me.  Maybe we can discover more what the Bible says on this over a cup of cofee.  My treat, promise!


WHY IS HE WORTH THE KEEP

Your parents love him 
Mothers (more or less parents) have this gut feeling about your man.  
Ask them about him.  They may be 90% right.

He has a stable job and a bank account 
A man who values the future does not only dream about it but prepares for it.  He is not dependent on his parents or siblings.  He has a regular job and knows how to work his way up.  And yes, a wise man saves up.  

He does not make promises  
It is either he is actively working on his promises or he has done them already

You share the same faith and values
Married couple would have disagreements and this is normal.  However, you can lessen the pressure if you have the same faith and values.  Not convinced? Check this out!

He does not have personal issues
It is difficult to be with a man who has baggages on his shoulders.  His issues may got to do with his self-esteem, unresolved conflicts, debts, personhood, sexuality, etc.


He does not cringe when you drop the words wedding and marriage
Personally, I would like to be with a man who is not only willing to marry me but is also ready to get hitched NOW.  I don't know with you. 
Come to think of it, if not marriage, what will be the goal of your relationship?

He does not pressure or lead you to be physically intimate
Yes, men who are not after your thighs and breasts are still present!!
 Let me share a little secret. Me and my husband had our first kiss on our wedding day.  We have been together as an engaged couple for 2 and a half years and the farthest we have been is a peck on the cheek! Yes, it can still happen!!!




You see and know that he will be a good father
Remember that your future husband will not only be your spouse
 but also the future father of your children.  Think, think, think!

He is a follower of God
Trust me, you would want and need a man who follows God.  Let me take this to another level by challenging you to seek a man who is not only a christian (yes, some Christians do not follow God's commandments) but also seeks and obeys the Lord.  Your husband will be the leader of your home and family and it is just wise to have someone whose leader is the Lord.




UNSWERVING LOYALTY AND LOVE

“Forever Yours: Going the Distance” is the second couple’s retreat that Mico and I had attended. Coincidentally, the bulk of the conference focused on “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires and The Respect He Desperately Needs, ” topic which we have learned for three times already – first, when our pre-marriage counsellors required us to read the book with the same title by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs; second, when our church Dgroup discussed it in one of our sessions and third, in this couple’s retreat. Despite being exposed to the same topic for several times, the Lord has always prepared something new for us.

This year’s retreat allowed me to see how rewarding it is to do God’s command of “loving” my wife even if at times she appears to be unlovable. Loving her is not merely a responsibility that I need to do but a privilege for me to worship God since the main purpose of marriage is to adore Him. As a result, a rewarding marriage is experienced.

Our first speaker lectured on the “Blueprint on Marriage” as written by God, the author of every connubial. One thing that struck me is when he discussed the need for “unswerving loyalty" which entails knowing your wife on all aspects – physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally. I asked myself, “Do I know Mico that much? Is my loyalty to her unswerving to the extent that I know her on all facets of life?” However, these questions were clearly answered when our last speaker stood and expounded on the grace of God which enables each one to do what He has commanded us to do.

Indeed, it is only by His grace that we can copiously know our spouses, consequently, being one in serving God.With us in the retreat is a couple who are on their twilight years and has been together for almost 60 years. Both of them use canes. The wife even uses wheel chair if there is a need for a fairly long walk. Hearing their testimony made me appreciate God’s  sustaining love and grace. Their long journey together were full of successes and failures, but, despite all these, they recognize that the Lord sustained them and gave them His unwavering love that binds their love for each other through the ages. 

Having learned all these, the Lord reminded me that my marriage with Mico is work in progress according to His design. Looking back to what the Lord has done to us in the past two years of our marriage, I am excited to see what He has in store for us in the years to come as we continue our journey with Him.

Forever Yours, Forever His: My Reflections on Our Recent Retreat


The retreat we recently attended reminded me that I should value my relationship to God so my relationship with Bryan will grow all the more.  All this time, I thought marriage is all about Bryan, I have never realized that marriage is about God.  I was tasked by God to respect Bryan because this is how He wanted it to be from the very beginning. Disobeying and raising my issues to my husband in an unloving and disrespectful ways do not only displeases Bryan but more so the Lord

This was a timely reminder because I wake up every morning with the hopes of doing all I can for our little family.  Although this may be good, this is not enough because I have to please God first in every aspect of our relationship.  And when I do, that is when I can truly be the "best" wife to Bryan. Though psychology, society, and media may all have the suggestions and ways on how a marrriage can work, I realized that these institutions did not create marriage.  It was God who instituted marriage, therefore, He alone has the master blueprint on how marriages can be made beautiful.  Thank you Lord for this assurance!


Let me also include a few lines that pierced my heart during our stay in Tagaytay.  May this encourage you as well.

God has a wonderful plan for our families -- and it starts with the husband and wife
- Pastor Roy Fabella

Marriage is designed by God to be enjoyed by the couple.
- Bro. Paul Aragones

(to husband) kelan ko sinabi sayo na "I love you"? Parang hindi ba diba? O ngayon, sasabihin ko na "I love you..."
- a wife who's been married for 40 years

Married couples are to create their own household.
- Bro. Paul Aragones

The things that matters to God, matters...
- I forgot who ;)

FOREVER YOURS - CCF MUNTINLUPA COUPLES RETREAT

I have always been a lover of retreats.  It is an instant get-away, a time to learn/re-learn and a season to not watch the clock.  Last February 19-20, Bryan and I had a chance to be with our CCF Muntinlupa family for a couples retreat.  And, as expected, we had a wonderful wonderful time.

To begin, I am thankful that we had a chance to be "away" for 2 days. Though it was a bit difficult to leave Risen (I am sure most parents would agree), we still decided to go because our son would surely benefit from this retreat.  As what we have always believed, happier parents make happier kids.



Second, this gave us the chance to bond with other couples of CCF Muntinlupa.  Ever since Bryan had finished the bar exams we have longed for a church that we can serve and call home.  We yearned for friendship we can develop, families we can know and Risen can grow with - and finally, we can say that CCF Muntinlupa is the answer to our prayers.  PRAISE GOD! WE HAVE A CHURCH!!



Third, this gave us the opportunity to hear from God on what He wants from us and from our marriage.  We have learned much from the topics that were shared and from the stories talked about by other couples. I will be more specific on my learnings on my next blog.  I have also asked Bryan to share his reflections, so watch our for that as well!





All in all, I can say that I fell in love with retreats, Bryan and God all the more! I hope you can join us next year!


What did I do while waiting for God's best?


In my Mid -twenties, I already wanted to have a boyfriend.  There was a longing (and pressure) already.  Medyo naiinip na ko.  
So at 25, I did not wait anymore.  I hurried love.  I dove into an empty pool with closed eyes and tied hands and feet.

Do not do what I did.


Do not trade your life with temporary pleasures and love that you know from the very beginning is not from God. Do not exchange good for best.  Do not ARGUE.  Do not defend that he or she is kind, attends church, willing to "change religion soon", etc.  Hay naku promise, it is not worth it!!

I learned it the hard way and the spanking God gave me was hard - really hard.  Too hard that I found myself on the floor, literally asking for my life back.

Still waiting? Then just wait.  That is easier compared to being with someone who is not from God.

If I could just whack some of the girls I know who decided to follow their heart and not God.... I will, but I cannot.  So let me just say it, straight to the point.

Wag ng ipilit. Do not trade God's perfect timing to your temporary happiness.  Marriage won't be blissful if you marry a man who is not from God.  Sayang ang paghihintay kung sa maling tao ka din mapupunta.

So again, chill lang.  Hurrying love is like telling God you do not trust His timing and provision.



Do not trade a buffet with a bowl of soup.

PS.
Of course this story was before I met Bryan.  My husband was one of God's blessings when I completely yielded to God's will... :) 


**inspired by Pastor Tan-Chi


WHAT ONE YEAR AND A FEW MONTHS OF BEING MARRIED TAUGHT ME



Being married for one year and a few months taught me that...



1.  Sense of humor can save couples from numerous and unwanted fights.



2. Cheesy date nights (or breakfasts) are happiness. We do our best to make time for it.



3.  Kissing when saying "goodbye" and "welcome home" must not be automatic. It should be done with intent. Make sure eyes meet ;) 


4.  Children should not be the center of the home/world. I think marriage and each other should still be the priority. Happy parents make happy children.





5. Cribs are helpful. At the end of the day, it is still nice to cuddle (since day 1, Risen sleeps in his crib) 













6.  Cooked food is a MUST. I make sure a meal is ready when Bryan comes home (kahit pa sabihin nya na he is busog and won't eat when he arrives home)


 
7.  Praying and having devotions together helps a lot.















8.  A kasambahay could be a blessing. If you have a "good" one, it can save you from stress, problems and quarrels

PS. We are very happy with our ate Marjorie









9.  Knowing Bryan's love language makes me know how to love him (Of course he knows mine too). 





10.  Texts, surprise love notes and pasalubongs are kilig. 

11.  A husband (or a wife) could make or break a marriage.  Do not hurry love, do not settle for good.  Seek for the "best" that God has prepared for you! 

M&S: Matt and Sarah's Wedding

My high school and school bus friend got married yesterday!! This was not only special because I knew Matt since I was 14 but also coz Sarah, his wife by now, became my friend when they got together. In our "circle", we are all married na! Meaning, no one will get left behind when we start talking about SPG stories!! haha I hosted the event together with Krystal, my emcee partner in ICA for 5 years --- na miss ko to!!! So happy pa that I got to fix myself, wear heels and be on a date with my hawt husband!





Since I was an emcee nga, our calltime was at 1pm. This was a bonus coz I had a chance to peep in the venue. Here take a peek too.

  




Love love love the details and the one million origamis! Yes, exagg but ang dami kasi talaga nila ;)

One thing that I look forward in weddings are the marches of the groom and bride. Matt and Sarah's walks were opposites. In the mid of his march, Matt raised his two hands and shouted "wuhoo", while Sarah was quiet. And according to Bry, who was one of the hawi boys ng curtain , ang lalim daw ng hinga ni Sarah.... ;)




My next fave part! The vows...I managed to type some excerpt. Here it goes.

MATT: He has favored and bless me with you...then he sang a few lines from ikaw.. clap to Matt na ndi nasintunado!!! 

sarah: ...God's plan is good and that plan includes you. Thank you for being all that you are. I commit to love you unconditionally and submit to your headship

Yehey for personally written vows :)

The wedding of Matt and Sarah is the smallest I have attended to. They have 65 guests, and you know what? It was lovely:) Twas so intimate that we had the chance to have a group pic -- all the 65 of us!

After the ceremony, the programme was filled with songs and dances. Sarah's dad  and Sarah danced slow then goofed to a cha-cha song c/o eat bulaga/rizza mae. Speeches were made next. I love Drew's speech to his brother! He was like "....akala ko saging lang ang may puso, si kuya pala may puso din" hahahaha 

Haaaay!! Matt and Sarah, congrats again. Welcome to the blissfull and crazy wagon of marriage! Dinner soonest :)


PS.
musta first night? lol