Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label failure. Show all posts

TOO AFRAID TO FAIL

Have you been too afraid to fail?  When I say too afraid, it means you either end up not trying at all or quit in the middle of it. 

You know what? Recently, I have been too afraid  that I thought of stopping mid-way.  I was bold and brave as I started but when the situation became shaky and my expectations were not met, I decided to stare instead of pushing myself to do more.  It was as if the obstacles I was facing was bigger than my “dream”.  One thing that added to my complacency was that I know that I am a contented stay-at-home wife and mother.  Since I am loving my life, I figured out, why do I need to subject myself to walking into unlighted paths when I am very much happy in my comfort zone? I mean, why do I need to push when I have already attained much (at least on my eyes) when I was single?

To my surprise, when I was on the verge of quitting and even I was not praying for my struggle, God made me read “Jesus Walks on Water”. 

I was like Peter who focused on his wobbly feet and stormy water instead of looking at Jesus who said “Don’t be afraid, it is I”.  Shame on me for trusting myself, looking at the negative factors, not trusting Jesus and quitting without trying and praying harder.  Nakakahiya!

I know Jesus wants me to still do brave things for His glory.  To learn from every situation I will be into.  And to be confident in Him though things will not go my way.  To be honest, I still do not know if my venture will be a success, but just like the cliché goes, I am rooting for the journey and not the destination.  As of now, it is still stormy and my feet can barely not step BUT this time, I will commit myself to not be afraid because he tells me “It is I”. 


Are you also scared to start something new?  Or too tired to continue?  May I suggest that you start acknowledging God in that dream of yours?  I have learned that God is not only interested in our spiritual affairs but also with our ambitions, bucket lists, shallow goals, and crazy wants.  As long as it does not contradict His word, I am sure He is very much interested to help you out get whatever that is!  Do not be too afraid to fail.  He got you!

THE OTHER BEST

I believe there are two kinds of best in the world - 
the best on our perspective
 and the best according to God's eyes plan  

I can still painfully remember (yes, may kurot pa din) the moment when we were scrolling down to check Bryan's name in the list of Bar passers - he was seated on his chair while I was on his back, my two hands on his shoulders.  Both our eyes did not blink when we were reading the surnames of the succesful bar examinees.  It just remained closed for a long time when I started to crying as I hugged Bryan from the back.  

I can say it was the most painful stage we have gone through as a married couple so far.  Since I knew Bryan's childhood dream is to be called an attorney, I too fell in love with this profession.  I imagined myself being a wife of a lawyer.  However, many of you know, this dream did not happen (he failed by 0.45), and as of the moment, my husband remains to be a professor in the College of Liberal Arts in Adamson University.

As we were moving on from this sad news, we thought hard on why he was not allowed to pass.  On why God said "no".  Everyone believed in him.  We were certain that this will be the best for our little family.  We claimed it was also a part of God's agenda.  We were convinced that since we offered everything in prayer, and because Bryan did his part, God willl give us the best.  And this best is the title Attorney to the name Bryan Eli Bagasin Sadorra.  

People comforted us by telling that God has other better plans.  We know and believe this, but we have to be honest that there were times this was difficult to see.  I saw myself asking "God, bakit hindi pwedeng maging lawyer si Bryan?  What can be better than this?"  Now that it has been almost a year that my husband took the bar exams, I may not still see God's bigger agenda, however, in my heart I am thankful he is still a teacher.

I am thankful for the short working days, long and paid holidays (summer, semestral break, Christmas vacation),  cancellation of classes (due to programmes) and weekends that Bryan has.  His schedule is not hectic.  He is an available husband, hands-on dad, and a relaxed member of our house.  No stress at work. No overtime.  No competition with his schedule. He does not give us what is left of him because when he comes home (the sun is still up) he is still a ball of energy.

Another thing I am happy about is the friendly, no compromise and healthy working environment.  I worked once in Adamson so I know that one way or another, Bryan is in "good hands".  His friends all go home after work (Bakit nga ba kayo ganyan? Mag kape naman kayo minsan after class!!), they are all family oriented, they have good laughs in between classes, and they treat us as family.  Nothing more I could ask for.

Lastly, we have time for God and his ministry.  To be honest, I am not sure if we can be this active in church (which we are super duper so happy about) if Bryan has another line of work. But as of the moment, we are really grateful for the chance to journey with people.  To serve God and be a witness on how He moves to the lives of the people we are with.

As I type this, I am asking myself if  "I am just bitter".  Well, maybe, sometimes.  However, I am more focused on the idea that this is what is best from God's perspective.  And since we love and trust Him, we should see the beauty of His plan. There is life after a failure.  There is beauty when we align our perspective to His.  Yes, I still want my husband to take the bar exams, but as of the moment, I will enjoy what we have.  

This is from God. This is the other best. This is what is truly the best.