Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts


I know my last post (part 1 here, part 2 here) was kind of hardcore. So let me give you a follow-up post and enumerate a few ways on how we can practically show our love to our in-laws.

1.  Allow them to love (and spoil) your kids in their ways.  Their job in NOT to rear your kids, that is yours.  So just accept how they would lovingly "do this", and "give this" to their grandkids.  In our case, in my parents house, Risen is being fed with Pandesal with sugar as palaman (spread).  I know, your eyes will roll, but we let them be because it is their house. Their house, their rules.  So what do we do when we are in our own home?, we tell Risen "that is only allowed with lola and lolo, not with mom and dad".  This is also why I discourage couple to stay with in-laws.  It is challenging to rear kids with grandparents because, in any house, there could only be one queen mother.

2.  Bring your kids to them (assuming you do not leave with them).  They love their grand kids, and to be honest, it is okay for them not to see the parents!haha  So please, please, bring your kids to them!

3.  Initiate family lunches or dinners.  My favorite part is when I tell my in-laws we would eat out without Bryan knowing it! I feel it is extra special, when I, their daugther-in-law and not their son invites them out.  I also pay for it, of course! My husband on the other hand, would sometimes buy treats for my parents (without me knowing) just because.  

4.  Get to really really know them.  How often do you chika and intentionally get to know them?  Their lives, love story, work, childhood, growing up years? When you know a person really well, you get to understand their ways and means.  Sometimes, we are too judgmental because we can't get pass our biases.  Impressions do not have to last.  Remember how you cheer fellow women who got married, finally became pregnant, gave birth, breastfed, worked or resigned for the sake of their kids?  Guess what, your mom-in-law did all this too!

5.  Accept that your in-laws will never be perfect, and so are you

6.  If you are doing it differently, do not only explain, educate them.  I remember when I gave birth to Risen.  The Pedia told us that "bigkis" (cloth wrapped around the waste to protect belly button) is no longer accepted.  This came to a shock with the two lolas for in their time, it was allowed.  I had to sit down with them and not only say "the pedia said no".  I offered the disadvantages and carefully explained each of them.  There is definitely a gap, so try to fill in and adjust to that.

7.  Remember the goal is not to be BFFs.  You do not have to be bessies, but the goal is to have a harmonious relationship with them.  That you don't cringe every time you see her nor fret when she visits you at home.  However, if you can be bessies, why not?! :)

8.  Get up and love again in the morning.    Let us not be historians.  You and your in-laws probably took off at the wrong place at the wrong time.  It is okay.  It will be okay.  Tomorrow is a new day to serve and love.

image from here



I know that some set-ups can be a bit crazier.  However, God allows "impossible situations" to let us know that we really cannot do it on our own Hopefully, the situation you are in will make us dependent on God and on His Word.  Remember that our "feelings" toward the person may not change over night, but our perspective and attitude towards him/her may be changed.  Just continue loving even if  it does not feel right.  Sounds fake?  If the intention is making it right, then you we not being plastic.  If we are certain  in the deepest of our hearts we want to have a very peaceful and harmonious relationship with our in-laws, I am sure that God will honor that and one day, emotions will follow.  Obviously, I do not believe in cutting off people in our lives. More so, in settling to be forever civil with the family members around us.  God is pro forgiveness and reconciliation.

This world would tell us to "do whatever works for you".  Sometimes, we bring this idea even with our in-laws, family members, friends and basically in our relationships.  I would like to challenge us to take the bolder and scarier way of dealing with them, and it is by choosing to intentionally loving them in difficult ways. Do this not because of your husband or your kids but because there is this "man" who died for you and who commands you to LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR.

With God's help and the support of your spouse will be able to do it.  Consider this prayer at the end of my blog.

Dear God,

Thank you for the people you allowed me to be surrounded with.  I am sure you handpicked them from the very beginning.  I lift up to you the relationship I have with my in-laws.  I pray that you will work in my heart to forgive, be reconciled and have a harmonious relationship with them.  May it be that in the days to come, I will learn how to love and honor them.  Thank you for the help. 

 In Jesus name, Amen.


It took us a lot of convincing before Risen agreed to leave the pail of water so we could drive to a swimming party.  He was so happy in his floaters that he even told us he do not want to swim in the pool because he was already swimming in the pail!  Crazy, right?  If he only knew how big and deep a real pool is, I am sure, he would excitedly get out of our old, rusty pail.

Image credit to owner

I don't know why, but this story of Risen got into me. In many occasions, I too have stayed in a pail of water rather than a 5 ft deep of water.  

How about you?  Are you also trying to float in a tiny tub?  Thinking that the place you are in is already God's best for you?

When I became a mother, I have understood God more.  That if I only obey and follow His rules, He will take me to places.  Just like in Risen's case, we had to argue with him and explain hard that swimming in a pail is nothing compared to being inside a pool. If he only listened and obeyed, we could have left early, hence a longer time for him to enjoy.

It may be a wrong relationship, a job that takes away your "life",  a debt that you have been carrying, a worry stuck in your head, a sin you are so afraid to let go. Let me tell you that if what you have now is against God's law, then that is not His best and will never be His best. Trust me, based on experience, the pool or even a beach is the right place to dive into.

Just let go of the pail.  God is waiting for you so he can bring you to the sea.


We go to Bry's parents in Paoay, Ilocos Norte to rest, sleep and eat.  Every long holiday, like summer, Chirstmas or sem-break, we make sure we intentionally travel to the north to gather ourselves and prep for the nest leg of "work".  This sem-break was no different, except that we knew Typhoon Lawin will be there too.

While we were waiting for our bus to arrive, we received a text that the typhoon will be as strong as Yolanda.  Bryan and I had to think and pray if we should still take the bus or just go back to Carmona.  We do not know exactly why, but we decided to take that bus knowing the risks we will be facing.  It was a scary decision especially that Risen was in tow.  It would be a different scenario if it was just the two of us. We prayed and asked for wisdom.  We discerned God's will.  What we know at that time was 1.  Paoay does not get flooded easily 2.  Bry's home is well maintained and has a second floor (just in case it floods) 3. Their home is not under any trees that might fall  4. His parents who are both senior citizens  5.  His parents gave us a go signal to go 6.  My parents did not stop us from traveling

And so we did.

It was a long ride.  We left Manila at 8:15pm and arrived at 4:30 am.  I was awake the whole time.  My eyes were just closed but my mind has Yolanda in mind.  On how the filipinos suffered and died.  I would glance at Bryan, Risen and the window and ask God "Lord, if we made a terrible decision, stop us".  

When we arrived, I prepared our emergency bag, We decided to take a long afternoon nap just so we can observe the weather all night.  We had early dinner too and texted people to pray for us.  

We were in bed at 8pm and the lights were down at 11pm.  While in bed, we could hear the wind.  It was like the sound of the plane taking off.  It was not whistling, it was more of roaring.  I and Bryan could not sleep starting 2am because of the sound of Lawin and things that flew with it.  Merong sound ng yero, wood, roof, etc.  It was 80 percent wind and 20 percent rain.  However, there was peace that I could not explain.  I was not worried nor anxious.  I was actually trying to sleep pero maingay lang talaga so ang hirap matulog!

We and my in-laws gathered around the dining table at 6am.  We shared  our sleepless night and hoped that Lawin left already.  However, according to Bryan, the typhoon would pass by at 8am in Ilocos so the peace that we are having that early morning could be because we are under the "eye" of the storm.  At around 8am, things became different na.  Up until 3 - 4 in the afternoon, there was wind and rain then more wind and more rain.  It was the heaviest storm I have experienced!!

Nevertheless, there was a comfort in my heart.   Remember when I told you that we come to Ilocos to rest?  God answered us!  Because of typhoon Lawin we experienced the true meaning of rest.

Yes!    It was the prayers of our spiritual family and friends that comforted us. It was his mercy that kept us safe.  It was God who made us secured during Typhoon Lawin.   All glory to Him!  

You can also embrace the true meaning of rest once you decided to follow Him.  He can only satisfy.  There is this void in our hearts that only He can fill.  Let Him bring you peace.

My God is bigger than my Typhoon Lawin story.  He is bigger that your worries and concerns too.  


Have you been too afraid to fail?  When I say too afraid, it means you either end up not trying at all or quit in the middle of it. 

You know what? Recently, I have been too afraid  that I thought of stopping mid-way.  I was bold and brave as I started but when the situation became shaky and my expectations were not met, I decided to stare instead of pushing myself to do more.  It was as if the obstacles I was facing was bigger than my “dream”.  One thing that added to my complacency was that I know that I am a contented stay-at-home wife and mother.  Since I am loving my life, I figured out, why do I need to subject myself to walking into unlighted paths when I am very much happy in my comfort zone? I mean, why do I need to push when I have already attained much (at least on my eyes) when I was single?

To my surprise, when I was on the verge of quitting and even I was not praying for my struggle, God made me read “Jesus Walks on Water”. 

I was like Peter who focused on his wobbly feet and stormy water instead of looking at Jesus who said “Don’t be afraid, it is I”.  Shame on me for trusting myself, looking at the negative factors, not trusting Jesus and quitting without trying and praying harder.  Nakakahiya!

I know Jesus wants me to still do brave things for His glory.  To learn from every situation I will be into.  And to be confident in Him though things will not go my way.  To be honest, I still do not know if my venture will be a success, but just like the cliché goes, I am rooting for the journey and not the destination.  As of now, it is still stormy and my feet can barely not step BUT this time, I will commit myself to not be afraid because he tells me “It is I”. 

Are you also scared to start something new?  Or too tired to continue?  May I suggest that you start acknowledging God in that dream of yours?  I have learned that God is not only interested in our spiritual affairs but also with our ambitions, bucket lists, shallow goals, and crazy wants.  As long as it does not contradict His word, I am sure He is very much interested to help you out get whatever that is!  Do not be too afraid to fail.  He got you!


I am back to pen and paper journaling!

It took me ages to pull myself together and make sure that my Bible reading ends up on my notebook. Thankfully, my husband modelled it to me (wuhooo for husbands who intentionally pray).  I saw his journal filled with his thoughts and I just can't help but be envious on how His talks with God ends up on paper.  I used to do this before but it got really difficult when I became a full time wife and mom.

If you also want to go back to journaling or to your Bible reading, I encourage you to just do it.  Actually, the most difficult part is the first day! Once you start, you would know the next one would be easier.  Aside from this, you may want to consider the following:

1.  Set a time and place.  If you need to set your alarm, do it.

2.  Prepare something that you can munch while reading your Bible.  Make this special by only having this cake or coffee or chips at this time.  For myself, I make sure I have brewed coffee and a slice of cake or Fudgee bar :)

3. Buy pens!! I got my different shades of ink from Craft Central at Greenbelt.  This costs 170 php.  

4.  Decide beforehand what you will study.  I am now on the Book of John.  I will blog on how I study it SOON!

5.  Ask someone to check up on you.  As for me, my d-group asks me from time to time if I have been reading and writing.  So effective.  I also "report" on my husband every day on what God has been teaching me.

6.  Remind yourself of this famous verse (it is a famous song too) 

Romans 16:19
"For your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, 
but I want you to be wise as to what is good and innocent as to what is evil."

In order for us to be wise, we need to study and take note of the things we have been learning.Yes, just like how we did it in high school.  Remember how we read books and wrote down in our notebooks what heard and read?  This pretty much sums up what journaling is all about.  We take time to digest our verses from the Bible then write down in colorful pens what we learned.

Pen and paper journaling is a discipline and must be added in our daily routine.  It is like bathing (Who leaves the house here without taking a shower?).  More so, let us also make sure we leave our homes geared up for the troubles, blessings and situations we will face!  May God bless you!  Happy reading!


**Below is a summary of the message last February 7, 2016 at CCF Muntinlupa.  This also appeared in The Chronicle (weekly Newsletter of CCF Muntinlupa).   The text was written by Bryan Eli B. Sadorra.

This February, valentines is celebrated by the world which has a deceiving, destructive  and self-centered definition of love.


The bible defines love as patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (I Corinthians 13: 4-7) This love is demonstrated by the Lord through the cross. (Romans 5:8) And the only way we can love others and even God is by accepting and embracing the reality of God’s love for us and in us. He did not only love us but He also gave us love that gave us the ability to love.

With this, how do we do we show our love to God?


Love means willingness to give and give up. We are to continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name. (Hebrews 13:15) Also, our bodies are owned by God. We cannot do anything to them without His consent. Instead, we are to give them to be holy and acceptable unto God which is our spiritual service. (Romans 12:1)


Love means willingness to receive whatever is from God. No one deserves blessings but God enabled us, thus, we should thankfully receive. (I Timothy 6:17) His Word is for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, thus, we are to take it. (II Timothy 3:16) God may also give us trials which we need to endure but still praise the Lord for. (Job 1:21-22) God is treating us as His children and part of our legitimacy is discipline so that we may share in His holiness and for the production of a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:6-11)


Love means obeying God’s command. The Lord has a standard on who loves Him. He is serious with our relationship with Him and obedience to His Word is a manifestation of our love for Him. (John 14:15, John 14:21) A part of His instruction is to go and make disciples, so, our willingness to be a disciple and be trained to disciple is also a demonstration of our love for Him. (Matthew 28:19-20) Lastly, carrying each other’s burden is a way of fulfilling His law. (Galatians 6:2)


Love means setting apart or being sanctified for God. We need to be holy because God is holy. (I Peter 1:16) A part of being holy is pleasing Him. (II Corinthians 5:9) And as we allow ourselves to be holy, the Lord instructed us to be strong, be courageous, not to be frightened and not be dismayed for He promised that He shall be with us wherever we go. (Joshua 1:9)

We are loved by God. We have love from God. And we can love God. Are we willing to exercise this love by giving and giving up, by receiving, by doing and by being the person God wants us to be? Are we willing to love God with all our hearts?


I was reading Genesis and answering the reflection questions found on the booklet Marriage, God's Design for Intimacy by James and Martha Reapsome when I came across these two verses.  

Genesis 2: 8-9
Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made.  The Lord God made all sorts of trees grow up from the ground—trees that were beautiful and that produced delicious fruit. In the middle of the garden he placed the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

Genesis 3:6
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 

image not mine

Looking back, I saw two things:
1. God provided the physical needs of Adam and Eve by planting all sorts of trees
2. Eve "forgot" that God made all this when she was tempted by the serpent to eat the forbidden fruit


I should never forget that God has provided and met all my needs.  As a wife and mother I have a tendency to worry, over think and dream of "better" things for me and my family.  This verses reminded me that God has given me the things that are enough.  Instead of clamoring and asking for more, I should see that a LOT of things were already provided so I should be more than thankful.  I know that the world has always something good to offer.  Our earthly life has always a better option, a grander alternative and unlimited opportunities, however, I should only take the options that God freely gives.  That as I live, there will be many offers (for me and my family) that "seems beautiful and delicious" (just like the forbidden fruit) but I should remember in my heart what is important, what is precious in God's sight, what is eternal and what will give Him the real glory.


This is a painful rebuke.  In many occasions, I have taken the fruit that the world offers without remembering that You have already provided.  Help me to continously see You and what will bring honor to You.  Strip me away of my bragging rights, because I only have You.  I can only be proud because of You.


I totally panicked when I realized I ruined my blog design and program after I hurriedly clicked a free template I saw online.  I have never touched the blueprint of my blog since I got married.  I remember working on it for the first time for one week so I vowed to never edit it.  However, I saw some cool free designs online and  I used it without recognizing that it could tarnish the entirety of my blog! 

With a cranky toddler asking for my attention and a husband who will come home anytime soon (I drop everything when my husband opens the gate), my face went white.  I can’t believe that I am now a struggling blogger with a dysfunctional blog site.


After kissing Bry, I asked him if I could spend 30 minutes of my time to “fix” it.  He agreed and even brought me some leftover Strawberry Crepe.  Without blinking, I searched and searched on how I could bring my blog to its normal sense.  After a few minutes, I discovered on how I could repair it.  YEY!  From there, I shut my computer  down and told myself that I will work on it when that same night.

Re-doing my blog was faster this time.  I actually challenged myself to not only re-do it but give it a different and a more personal touch.  I can’t believe that the MESS I did turned out to be a HAPPY-MESS! 

my blog's new face

Even in little things, God is teaching us that He has the ability to transform every ugly situation/s we are in.  So trust Him and be comforted that this MESS can be a HAPPY-MESS!


I have been trying to compose a post about Christmas since the start of December. However, I kept on typing then deleting then typing and erasing it again.

Then December 24 came. As some of you would know, we rushed Risen to the hospital last December 24 at 11am and he was confined up until the 25th. It was Risen's first confinement, sa Ilocos pa at Christmas pa. Our Noche Buena was spent watching Risen in his hospital bed while I ate instant noodles and Bry munched on our little boy's hospital food leftover (stores were already closes when we realized we didn't have Noche Buena). It was sad.

However, the quiet hospital room and the silent prayers I made me realize that this is somewhat the real meaning of Christmas. It isn't about food, nor the gifts, nor family getting busy to attend reunions, nor the fun it brings but about Jesus. Christmas is only about Jesus. 

On that night, God took away the fun and glamour of Christmas. I had a lot of chances to wallow in pity and ask God "why now?" but my heart chose to celebrate (which was a real struggle) because today Jesus was born so Risen can have life.  What right do I have to complain when I already have received the biggest and grandest gift which was Jesus who paid for my sins? 

So amidst the horrific hospital gown 🙄😮 and the situation we were in, TULOY NA TULOY ANG PASKO!!

It is very easy to say Christmas is not about the fun it brings and it takes another level to experience it. At the end of the day, I am still thankful.

I do not know how Christmas was like for you but I hope it had more depth compared to the others you had before. May the love and real meaning of December 25 be seen in our lives!!

someone from the end of the globe sent us money which amounts to a little over our hospital bill.  This was super unexpected because we haven't seen nor communicated with them in years. They did not even know Risen was sick so we were surprised that our ATM has a spare cash and got overwhelmed when they emailed us about this. So what am I saying? The gift of Christmas is real!!


Three on three.  

Our little family of three celebrated our third year wedding anniversary last December 5-6 2015 at Crimson Hotel Alabang.  We chose Crimson because they were on promo while we were picking out a hotel for our staycation. 
We got a de luxe room that came with a breakfast buffet for only 4,000 pesos 
(it is normally 6k + +).  What a treat, right?

The first day was spent with my parents on the pool side.  We ordered a Tea Time Treat (coffee and pastries  for 675 nett) that is supposedly only good for two people but ended up fulfilling 4 1/2 tummies plus 3 pcs of cookies for take-out.  They were really sweet (that's why it is for more than 2 people), yummy, interesting and satisfying.

The room has a huge and a really really dreamy bed.  
The view was also lovely at night.  

And, tadaaaahhhh! Breakfast!  The most important part of my hotel stay. I won't say much except that we stayed for 2 hours in our table. haha

Let me share to you the breakfast buffet spread.


I could let go of lotion except that my skin needs it. If I do not moisturize regularly, I will have rashes on my arms and legs.  This condition is hereditary and it can only be tamed by a bottle of lotion with the highest moisture content.

If one buys his own lotion and suppplies for grooming (shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, etc), one would also know that if this has to be bought in one grocery trip, he should be ready to say goodbye to his 1,000 php. Toiletries are expensive.  Agree?  Agree!

However, I am amazed on how God gives me free lotion when one botlle is about to end.  I do not share my skin problem with my relatives and friends abroad, but for some reasons, amongst their pasalubong, I would always find a bottle of lotion.  Believe it or not but in for almost 2 years now, I have never bought a bottle of lotion.  Some people call it luck, I call it God's provision.

Matthew 6:25 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 



I believe there are two kinds of best in the world - 
the best on our perspective
 and the best according to God's eyes plan  

I can still painfully remember (yes, may kurot pa din) the moment when we were scrolling down to check Bryan's name in the list of Bar passers - he was seated on his chair while I was on his back, my two hands on his shoulders.  Both our eyes did not blink when we were reading the surnames of the succesful bar examinees.  It just remained closed for a long time when I started to crying as I hugged Bryan from the back.  

I can say it was the most painful stage we have gone through as a married couple so far.  Since I knew Bryan's childhood dream is to be called an attorney, I too fell in love with this profession.  I imagined myself being a wife of a lawyer.  However, many of you know, this dream did not happen (he failed by 0.45), and as of the moment, my husband remains to be a professor in the College of Liberal Arts in Adamson University.

As we were moving on from this sad news, we thought hard on why he was not allowed to pass.  On why God said "no".  Everyone believed in him.  We were certain that this will be the best for our little family.  We claimed it was also a part of God's agenda.  We were convinced that since we offered everything in prayer, and because Bryan did his part, God willl give us the best.  And this best is the title Attorney to the name Bryan Eli Bagasin Sadorra.  

People comforted us by telling that God has other better plans.  We know and believe this, but we have to be honest that there were times this was difficult to see.  I saw myself asking "God, bakit hindi pwedeng maging lawyer si Bryan?  What can be better than this?"  Now that it has been almost a year that my husband took the bar exams, I may not still see God's bigger agenda, however, in my heart I am thankful he is still a teacher.

I am thankful for the short working days, long and paid holidays (summer, semestral break, Christmas vacation),  cancellation of classes (due to programmes) and weekends that Bryan has.  His schedule is not hectic.  He is an available husband, hands-on dad, and a relaxed member of our house.  No stress at work. No overtime.  No competition with his schedule. He does not give us what is left of him because when he comes home (the sun is still up) he is still a ball of energy.

Another thing I am happy about is the friendly, no compromise and healthy working environment.  I worked once in Adamson so I know that one way or another, Bryan is in "good hands".  His friends all go home after work (Bakit nga ba kayo ganyan? Mag kape naman kayo minsan after class!!), they are all family oriented, they have good laughs in between classes, and they treat us as family.  Nothing more I could ask for.

Lastly, we have time for God and his ministry.  To be honest, I am not sure if we can be this active in church (which we are super duper so happy about) if Bryan has another line of work. But as of the moment, we are really grateful for the chance to journey with people.  To serve God and be a witness on how He moves to the lives of the people we are with.

As I type this, I am asking myself if  "I am just bitter".  Well, maybe, sometimes.  However, I am more focused on the idea that this is what is best from God's perspective.  And since we love and trust Him, we should see the beauty of His plan. There is life after a failure.  There is beauty when we align our perspective to His.  Yes, I still want my husband to take the bar exams, but as of the moment, I will enjoy what we have.  

This is from God. This is the other best. This is what is truly the best.


Delayed flights.  Delayed appointment.  Delayed hotel check-in.  Delayed food service. Delayed salary.  Delayed start of the program. Delayed traffic flow. Don't we just all hate delays? I mean, who likes waiting (especially when you have cranky toddler in tow)? No one, I suppose.

image not mine

Recently, God has been teaching me to submit to delays. He has been reminding me to fully trust Him because it will be accomplished in God's time. However, I have to admit that it is difficult because a piece of me wants it now.  In my devotions, in my prayers, I have been asking God why is He allowing us to wait longer .  Why when he can give it to us now.  Why prolong the waiting?

In return, God tells me to still "wait".  

As I begin to write this entry, I am reminded how Sarah, Abraham's wife, chose to have Hagar as a surrogate mother because she believes that God will never accomplish the promise of giving her a son.  She did it her way instead of trusting God's timing.  

Genesis 16:1
1Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. 
But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; 
2so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. 
Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Genesis 18:13-14
13Then the Lord said to Abraham,
 “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 
14Is anything too hard for the Lord?
 I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

My prayer is that I would be able to wait without sinning, without doing it on my won terms.  I hope that the fruit of the Holy Spirit will blossom instead. That I will choose to be kind, understand and see the big hand of God.


Yes, you are hearing this from someone who has been enjoying marriage for almost three years now.  I guess, this is the main reason why I am "warning" those who want to get married to consider the following below.  We have seen how a marriage could be ugly if done carelessly. It can be disappointing if you just jump on it. In many of our intentional talks about our relationship, we have seen how it really takes two  three (God plus us) to run this commitement.

1.  If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, marry someone of the same faith.  I have heard girls (and some boys) say that "okay lang, kasi mabait at responsible naman".  Let me tell you straight that in many decisions that you will make as a husband and wife, you do not need a man who is only kind and responsible.  Go, ask christian couples.  See what they have to say.  I am sure they would tell you that you need a man who will solely rely on God and His direction for your lives. I hope the hand you are holding now is the kind of hands who open up the Bible and commune with God thru prayer.  Because again, hindi pwedeng mabait lang.  Let me convince you more.  Read this

2.  Consider having your own home/apartment first.  Leave and cleave.  Allow your husband to be a leader or your wife to be a real homemaker.  After all, marriage is all about to having your own family so let it be.  It feels good to play "lutu-lutuan" and "bahay-bahayan" with the person you married.  Money may be an issue here, with that, go back to my title - "Wait!! Do Not Get Married Yet!".  To add read up on what Maricar Reyes has to say (wife to Ricahrd Poon) on this.

3.  Be sure to keep an "after wedding money".  A lot of people have told me to never borrow money (loan, use credit card, ask for money, etc) for a wedding because it is not good to start a new life with utang.  I agree with this, plus, to make sure to not spend all your savings for the wedding.  The married life is more important than the event that will only happen for a day. It would be nice if you could follow-up a wedding with spontaneous dates, staycations or even family visits.  Remember that a wedding should not make you broke.  It needs not be expensive.  You can always DIY, invite the closests, be a minimalist and creative.

second night as a married couple in Estancia Tagaytay

4.  Plan a honeymoon.  The first thing that we paid for was our plane ticket to Bangkok and Phuket.  We do not have anything yet but we already had bookings for honeymoon (which I am very glad we did).  Yes, we were that excited! I guess that for a couple who decided to wait (our first kiss was at the altar), this is something that is really cherished and looked forward too.  Our seven day honeymoon plus a long vacation was so worth the wait.  I hope you will choose to really enjoy your honeymoon too.

5. Having a baby can be "accepted" but it should not be a reason to get married.  I do not know how to put this without being too direct.  Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.  A baby does not only need parents.  He would want a mother and a father who loves each other as well.

6.  Talk about it.  Do not just discuss it between the two of you but have someone guide you, ask you difficult questions, mentor you and show you what marriage is all about.  Yes, marriage is different from every couple, but it would not hurt to get wisdom from the seasoned ones.  It will helpful to see what could be difficult and answer it with all honesty because one way or another, you will have to deal with it in the future. 

7.  Marry for the right reasons.  Not because you want to escape from responsibilities, not because you want to be away from home, not because to have a family (because what if God won't give you kids?), not because you are already old, not because of financial freedon, not because of convenience.  Get married because you have chosen to love and will choose to love the same person for a lifetime and lastly and most importantly, because it is clear that this is what God wants you to be and do.