Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts

NOW A "LEGIT" STAY-AT-HOME WIFE AND MOM

I have always been proud on how I was able to get around the house, serve Bryan, take care of Risen, do rakets and handle ministry opportunities with a smile on my face.  I have to be honest that it was easy to juggle all this because we had support from our kasambahay.  However, the past few days I had the same goal, only this time without help. 

It is Mother’s day today and we are officially with no kasambahay for almost a week now.  I really thought my world would end without her, but surprisingly, it gets better each day.  I know that the days ahead may not be easy as they were, but to be honest, I am getting the hang of it (or is this too early to say? haha).

How am I coping?  I decided to take one step at a time.  My morning starts with sending Bryan off, then devotions then Risen.  Then, when I have spare time in between Risen, I clean up, do the laundry (Praise God for automatic washing machines!!), and then the other errands.  Our house is definitely messier and plates are often left in the sink, but that should be okay.  That is just really okay  (yes, I am still convincing myself on this area hihi).

Today, as I gaze around our tiny home and read the heartwarming mother’s day greetings, I can’t help but thank God for once again raising the bar of His expectations from me.  I am a wife and a mom…a legit stay-at-home wife and mom.  I miss working full time, the help we used to get, but I am grateful God initiated to take all this from me.  In all honesty, if these two will be offered, I would decline (PS we had the best kasambahay and it was hard to let her go).  Why?  Because I have found my calling in serving my boys intentionally.  My heart has found peace in what I do now.  I would not trade it for anything!!

Definitely tough times ahead but I am assured because God is with me all the way!



PRI-YOU-RITY

Risen had his second birthday on a Thursday.  This means that it will be a "normal schedule". Bryan will go to work at 6am and I will have to teach for 2-3 hours in the morning plus a "few things" here and there.  However, since it was Risen's day, I decided to continue with our usual routine but make sure to give all my energy, eyes, dedication and focus on him.  I made it certain that except for my online work, no other little things will be done.

When I woke up I already had my schedule in mind.  I would have devotions, teach for 2 hours then Risen and I would play, be silly, read aloud, extend bath time, sing, write on doors using chalk, bike outide, buy Stick-O, etc.  When Bryan arrived at around 3:30, the play and fun continued.  At the end of his big day, I was like, why am I a happier mother today?

I suddenly realized because maybe I lived our day without thinking of anything.  I did not mind not being able to do this and that. I did not get pissed having to postpone "other" things because Risen wanted to play.  It dawned on me that this is the true meaning of priority.  Not getting frustrated because my main concern held me back, but being able to let go of the "other things" because of who or what needs me the most.


image not mine
As I mentioned in one of my posts before, full-time moms may easily forget the reason behind their "vocation".  Risen's birthday reminded me that he is my priority (aside from God and Bryan, of course) so I should not worry or get bad irritated when I do not get things done.  I too should not feel unproductive when what I did all day is play with my toddler.  I am a stay-at-home mom because of Risen and not because of the other things.

This season is for Risen.  While Bryan is at work, our son is all mine.  He thinks I am his world so I will give it to him.  The others can wait up until his nap time.

How about you? Is your priority really your priority?



Mommyhood Gets "Easier"

For the first time last week, I was able to cook while Risen busily played in our sala.  We have come to the stage that I can leave him "alone" for some time.  Also, my little buddy has been bottle-free for a month now.  He drinks his milk using straw.  This means that when we are out, I just need to bring fresh milk and we are good to go!


Risen proud of what we built


I can go on and on with Risen's milestones, however, alongside these "achievements", I want to highlight that mommyhood gets easier with time.  Age permits out little ones to be slowly independent and though this may be a little sentimental, I am glad to see Risen do his thing.

Really moms,  it gets easier.

Some of you may feel that you will be hostaged for life, but with the right mindset, let me say again that it will be lighter in the coming months.  Hang in there and enjoy smelling your baby's armpits while you still can!

May you enjoy this season of your life, mommies!



Tough Love On Risen: Part 2

Here, I ranted on how we needed to break Risen's habit of wanting to sleep in our bed all the time. As promised, now, I will let you know how he responded.

Ate Dot, one of the seasoned moms I know told us to simply talk to Risen.  She also suggested to place a pillow or a blanket in his crib so Risen can associate this to his sleeping place.

So, on a Friday night, I said this (I also did a lot of hand gestures) to Risen before putting him to sleep. Just pardon the choppy English.  I just use the essential or content words so my toddler would understand.

"Risen, mommy and daddy bed.  
Risen crib. Risen, embrace Mickey Mouse.  
Risen, crib.  Risen sleep Mickey Mouse.  
Risen sleep crib. 
 Risen embrace Mickey Mouse."

I remember doing this for 3 minutes.  I did this while he was on my lap so my eyes could meet his.

After this, we prayed and hugged then I placed him in his crib.

And you know what happened? No fuss, no crying!  He stayed in his sleeping place. He slept on his own and did not wake up in the middle of the night!  I know, amazing, right?!



So, ladies and gentlemen, do not underestimate a 15 month old toddler!! They can already understand! :)

Tough Love on Risen: Part 1

**Originally written January 2015

For the past two weeks, Risen has been waking up in the middle of the night crying.  He would point at our bed and plead to be transferred.  In the beginning, we thought it was “sweet” for him to miss us during his sleep (he has been sleeping in his crib since day 1).  Little did we know, it would be a start of a not so good habit.

Today, he did not want to stay in his crib at all.  He wanted his morning and afternoon naps in our bed.  This means I had to watch and guard him the whole time.  This means that I won’t be able to do my morning tasks which include online work, a few errands, working out and some house chores.  He naps from 8:00 to 9:15 and  12:30 - 2pm.   These two naps are so precious that I can’t just give it up.  Yes, call me selfish, but still, I need this time of my day.

Bryan and I realized that his wanting to be in our bed in the middle on night gave him an idea that he can sleep in our bed always (yes, we are also one of the couples who think that it is not (always) okay to share beds with kids).  We hope to break this habit soon.  This would include crying every time we put him to sleep, tears in the middle of the night, sleepless nights in the coming days and maybe even frustration.  However, as young as 16 months, we have to teach Risen.  It may not be conducive for him, but we have to.

Funny on how we did not see this coming.  We thought he just wanted to cuddle in the middle on the night. Now, it is a habit we need to break.  We are still new in our parenting journey and we know that Risen will have a lot of habits that we would need to break in the future. For now, Risen has to be reminded that he can’t sleep in our bed just because he wanted to.

Painful but needed.  Masakit sya sa heart.  Pero sige lang, kailangan.

On my next blog, I will tell you how Risen responded to our "tough love".


CONFESSION: I Am A Stay-At-Home-Mom Who Cannot Stay At Home

It has been known (well at least to the people I have been years back) that I love to pack, live and go somewhere.  I have grabbed a lot of piso and non-piso flights to have a tan.  I saw myself travelling alone with my handy and trusted Jansport and Teva sandals.  If not in a province, I would be in malls, meeting friends or just really, somewhere not home.

This "lifestyle" was altered when I gave birth to Risen.  

I do not regret being with Risen 24/7 but I just have to be honest, that each and every day, I would think of a place where I could go (with Risen of course).  Either to the grocery, or to the mall, or to a coffee shop – basta aalis ako.  Every morning, there is this longing to dress-up and go somewhere.

(PS. I do not leave naman the house every day)

I was further tested when our Ate Marjorie (our help/angel at home) left for a 7 day vacation.  The first day (yes, first day!) made me want to shout.  The fact that I was left alone with Risen, no one to speak with (Bryan had to do study) for a day, made me a little bit very frustrated.  There was like a hole in my being.  I felt verrryyyy bored!!

I am a stay-at-home-mom, so, why can't I be very happy at home, alone with my son?.

That same evening, I mentioned this to Bryan.  I told him, maloloka ata ako ng walang kausap, kasama at ka-share sa pag-tingin kay Risen.  Hindi ko kaya.  It is not the chores nor the taking care of Risen part but the I have no one to talk to issue!  With this confession, we agreed to drive to Mama's house the next morning while Bryan stay in Manila to read.  I felt VERY relieved.

To date, I still struggle to just stay at home.  I wonder how the "real stay-at-home-mom" does it.  Especially with one who does not have help at home.  How do you deal with the no talking part?  The eating alone? The "it is just me and my baby"? How?

I really can't and I feel very bad about it.






Motherhood: On Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom

I have been fantasizing of being a stay-at-home-mom long before I met Bryan.  I was convinced that this would be my way of raising my children.  However, when I was already in the reality of saying goodbye to my so called career, it dawned on me that it was a difficult choice. Hindi pala madali to let go of a life that you have been into for the longest time.  I had my own set of doubts.   And we, as a couple, had questions, issues and concerns to face.  But since we were both certain that this is what God wants for our little family (we respect those moms who chooses/needs to work), we pushed through with it.

Our first “worry” was money.  Being a full time mom would make us rely on Bryan’s paycheck (who is on study leave now).  With a growing baby to provide for, a house and car to maintain and tummies to feed, this was a big dilemma. We had to compute, re-compute, add, deduct, etc and figure out how we will “live”.  This was very humbling because we were both financially very capable before we got married, and now, we have to suddenly cut on our spending.  Amidst of all the questions on how we will survive, we are comforted that where God leads, He provides.  We never ran out of bills to pay and needs to buy, but up until now, I do not know how God makes it work for us.  He is really our Jehovah Jireh.  He provides!

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To add, being a stay-at-home-mom equals to house-arrest.  Did I tell you I cannot literally stay at home? I have to leave the house every single day.  I am allergic to staying at home 24hours.  This will make me insane!  However, Risen came and he taught me I can.  Kaya naman pala.  Although I must admit that the first two months was the hardest.  I would often secretly cry and ask myself “ito na lang ba talaga buhay ko ngayon? Breastfeed, burp, play with baby, put him to sleep?”  But, it got easier!  On Risen’s third month, chores became manageable, I was able to go out again, meet friends, fix myself and spend time with Bryan.  My life became active and I felt normal again.  Today, I just need to go out at least once a week (church not counted).  Ok na ko with this. hihihi

Third, when we decided that I would be staying at home, I had to force myself to be productive.  We both knew it cannot be always about Risen.  For sanity purposes, I had to do something on the side. And once again, God surprised us with a few writing and online teaching rakets I was able to get.  This did not only add  a few cash on our savings but also gave me contentment. The joy of being able to work and see Risen across the table is something I would not trade for anything.   I am getting paid to watch Risen grow. Ang galing!


Amazing, amazing God!  He truly gives our heart’s desire if we rely on his will and put our faith and trust in Him.   Each day is still a learning process for me (and Bryan) but I am grateful for the chance to raise a boy.  Being a stay-at-home-mom is never easy, but with God’s grace, I count it all joy. 


MOTHERHOOD: On What Changed In Me

Mama has been a stay-at-home mother for me and Kai.  She never worked nor did business.  Me and Kai were her daily tasks.  With this upbringing, at an early age, I was convinced that one day I would like to be one too.

Now that I am living the life of Mom who is always at home, I witnessed how my life drastically and beautifully change.  Yes, my status, routine, schedule, priorities were all altered but aside from all of these, there is something inside me that was transformed.  I thought I was already the person I want to be when I got to my late twenties, obviously, I was incorrect. Motherhood (even without my "permission") impacted my life so much that I felt I became a new person.

I did not realize what responsibility meant up until a life was given to me (us). Holding Risen for the first time, and seeing how tiny, soft, and vulnerable he was, was insanely unimaginable.  He has life and his breathing, eating, comfort, and happiness  purely depends on me (us).  I (we) am literally his life.  If I do anything stupid or clumsy, I may lose him.  The moment I became pregnant, a life depends on me.  A life purely depends on me.

I also thought that all the short term missions and community immersions I did made me experience sacrifice.  However, as you have guessed, I was wrong again.  Those things were only 10 percent of what sacrifice  really is. This page will not be enough of the things I had to painfully let go to make sure Risen has a sane Mom at home. I do not regret this (and a lot of Moms told me I never will) but I have to be honest that sometimes, I miss a lot of things.  I miss being spontaneous, teaching inside the classroom, not thinking of anything, sleeping the whole day, working and leaving work to meet up with friends, and a whole lot more.  One may think these are just little circumstances, but when you are tied up with responsibilities you plainly cannot leave at all cost, these little cups of happiness become a humongous platter.

Lastly, I did not realize how self-centered and selfish I was when I was still single. I only thought of myself, my joys, and what I want.  This character made me hurt my parents because I only see myself in every situation.  What I need, What I want, What I am suppose to have. Risen taught me to slowly let go of this.  The unconditional love of my parents and the stubborn grace of God make me tear up and sorry how selfish I was in the past. Ang sama sama ko palang bata noon :(.... Although this attitude still surfaces at times, I am humbled on how my situation brings me back to where I should be.

I am only on my first year of being a stay-at-home mom, a God's work in progress and I know bigger things are ahead of me. However, it is nice to reflect on what August 13, 2013 did to me.  Risen was born on that day and little did I know that a new Mico will be born as well.


God,
Thank you for the wonderful gift of motherhood.  I felt your love and discipline through it.  You really know what to do with life!  Maraming Salamat.

and to Bryan and Risen,

Thank you for making me a mother.  You two changed me for the better.  I love you both.  


Mommy Mico