Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

THE SWEETNESS OF DOING NOTHING (MOTHERHOOD EDITION)

I have not been blogging because I have been resting.  I have learned the discipline of Sabbath way back in college thru Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship. This Christian institution developed in me the idea of enjoying "planned rest". Since then, even as a student, I saw the importance of giving myself a holiday every now and then. Little did I know that this lifestyle affected the big choices I had in my life, such as:  (1) pursuing teaching because of the vacation that comes with it (2)  Choosing long trips and restful vacations instead of the usual 3 days and 2 nights out of town trips (3) marrying a man who is not a workaholic (4) Pursuing BabyWise (sleep training for Risen) (5) Not feeling guilty for over sleeping and resting.

It was since October 23, 2017 that I decided to cut down on work so we can rest as a family, celebrate Bryan's 35th birthday, nap on afternoons, and go from one place to the next without thinking of deadlines, profits and work.  It was a choice since I know I have to set aside "important things" to give way to rest and time with family.  And since rest may also mean accepting less hosting gigs but spending more money, it was really a decision we have to take.  Good thing, my husband believes and I have been a believer of rest, hence, it was not hard for us to enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing (La Dolce Far Niente).







Guess what, Mommy?  You too can rest :)  And yes, I also know that motherhood is such a toil and that it is impossible not to do anything for a day.  But wait, please let me lead you to the idea of rest and why it is a must for mothers like us. To begin, why should we rest?

1. We rest because we are tired2. We rest so we can be more productive 
3.  We rest so we can take care of our health
4.  We rest so we can stop, regain balance and assess our situation
5.  We rest so we can be more present for our husbands and children 
6.  We rest because God rested as well


Now the bigger question is, how can we rest?

1.  We have to plan it.  For mothers whose time is erratic, we have to make a way to sleep longer, take naps or stay in idly in bed.   We have to schedule it days in advance.  Rest can't be spontaneous, so we just really have to allot time on when we can do it.  If for some reasons something happened, postpone it BUT do it the next day.  Treat it like an errand or a deadline.  If we need to drop things, do it.

2.  Involve your husbands, parents, in-laws or even the Ninangs of your kids.  This is why it takes a village to raise kids, because we need the help we can get.  Now, when we are allowed to leave our kids to our husbands or to a trusted tita, do not do errands but just rest.  The thing is, when we "deposit" our kids to other people, we still work.  Do your very best not to.  Tell your husbands to command you to sleep or just watch TV.  There is nothing wrong with this.  Trust me, it will benefit you more.

3.  Prepare early.  I remember cooking a day before and having paper plates ready so I can rest instead of cooking or doing the dishes.  You can do this as well.  Buy a Lechon Manok or prepare Adobo that you can just reheat the next day.  You may also opt to use the disposable diapers for a day to not be stressed with the laundry. 

4.  Be a wise mom.  There is a danger of following whatever your child wants.  Parents know better so please do not let your kids decide on where they want to sleep, play and eat.  Discuss with your husband how you can discipline your child so they can be trained to use car seats, and to sleep in another room or bed.  Also IF possible, consider the season of just really "being a mom" for a few months.  IF you can afford it, just be a mother after giving birth.  Try not to pursue anything.  Your work and passion can wait.  I think it is better to "postpone" it so you can be physically and mentally ready for the challenge.  A human being just came out of you, it is okay to just be a mom for the next three months (my suggested timeline).  

5.  Do not forget you are a wife first.  In many times, we forget about this.  We pursue many things except the idea of being a better wife.  Your God, then your husband.  Make sure you have these two as your priorities.  There is rest in your husband's loving arms.  

6.  Find your real definition of rest.  In the past, rest for me means long drives and quick getaways.  Now, the true meaning of relaxation for me is doing nothing (e.g. reading, watching or staying in bed) at home.  I am not ashamed to be called a "tita" because rest for me means being at home.  Postpone lakads, say "no" to meet-ups and instead, just rest.

7.  Remember that our body is a gift form God.  We have to be stewards of God's provision of a healthy body.  We rest not only because we are tired but because this is a way of telling God we value our bodies by giving it the rest it deserves. We do not drink when we are thirsty.  When we start to long for water, that means there is already something "wrong".  Same thing with sabbath.  Do not wait to get tired before taking rests.

To be real, working and resting are two things we can enjoy.  Yes, you are a mom, but please let me tell youthat you can and you should rest.  If you want to be a better wife, mother and woman to the people around you, do not forget to spend time doing nothing.  Plan it and do it -  for you and your family's sake.

So, what is the plan Mommy?  When are you resting?

NOW A "LEGIT" STAY-AT-HOME WIFE AND MOM

I have always been proud on how I was able to get around the house, serve Bryan, take care of Risen, do rakets and handle ministry opportunities with a smile on my face.  I have to be honest that it was easy to juggle all this because we had support from our kasambahay.  However, the past few days I had the same goal, only this time without help. 

It is Mother’s day today and we are officially with no kasambahay for almost a week now.  I really thought my world would end without her, but surprisingly, it gets better each day.  I know that the days ahead may not be easy as they were, but to be honest, I am getting the hang of it (or is this too early to say? haha).

How am I coping?  I decided to take one step at a time.  My morning starts with sending Bryan off, then devotions then Risen.  Then, when I have spare time in between Risen, I clean up, do the laundry (Praise God for automatic washing machines!!), and then the other errands.  Our house is definitely messier and plates are often left in the sink, but that should be okay.  That is just really okay  (yes, I am still convincing myself on this area hihi).

Today, as I gaze around our tiny home and read the heartwarming mother’s day greetings, I can’t help but thank God for once again raising the bar of His expectations from me.  I am a wife and a mom…a legit stay-at-home wife and mom.  I miss working full time, the help we used to get, but I am grateful God initiated to take all this from me.  In all honesty, if these two will be offered, I would decline (PS we had the best kasambahay and it was hard to let her go).  Why?  Because I have found my calling in serving my boys intentionally.  My heart has found peace in what I do now.  I would not trade it for anything!!

Definitely tough times ahead but I am assured because God is with me all the way!



I NEED S P A C E

I need space.


image not mine


I used to feel guilty every time I have a serious longing to be away from Bryan and Risen for some time (like maybe for a day every 1 or 2 months).  I thought to  myself on why I would like to voluntarily spend my day without them?  Does this mean I care and love them less?

It dawned on me that the desire to be away from family for a couple of hours is nothing that I should be sad about, rather it is something that I should really do from time to time.  I realized that this is not only beneficial for myself but more so for Bryan and Risen.  When I am away, my boys can bond without my "intervention".  They can do whatever they want without me telling to do it "this way" or "that way".  I might come home to Risen who ate pizza and ice cream for dinner, but who cares? Minsan lang naman.  And besides, who would not like pizza and ice cream?

Second, Risen needs to know, feel and see that I can't be his only person.  At 2 years old, he has the tendency to be really clingy.  In many times, he only wants me, just me.  I do not want this.  Risen has to see and be with other people.  It can't just be me.

Third, in some occasions, I badly need it. I love being a full-time wife and mom, however, at times, I get "tired".  I just need to get away from my routine and be in a place where my boys are not around.

In behalf of the other stay-at-home-moms...

So forgive me (us) when you see me (us) lounging in coffee shops without my family. Do not question me (us) when I (we) sometimes go home late from dinner (again without my (our)husband/s).  I (we) do it because I (we) need it.  I (we)need to make time for others so I (we) see how special my family is.  I (we) love spending time with my friends so I (we) can share how awesome my Bryan (husbands) is and witty Risen (kids) is.   Besides, though I  (we) am "away", what we look  forward to is the "coming home".  

So at least once a month, or every two months, let me be alone.  I need space.

PS.
Thank you Bryan for always saying "yes".  I love you!


GOD MADE TWODAY

Risen had a small birthday treat last August 15, 2015.  We were so glad that his Ninongs, Ninangs and friends from our church came.  It was good to be surrounded with people who are also very aware of Risen's milestones.  Kudos to Shakey's Muntinlupa staff - you did a really good job!! Thank you again family and friends for taking time!
























PRI-YOU-RITY

Risen had his second birthday on a Thursday.  This means that it will be a "normal schedule". Bryan will go to work at 6am and I will have to teach for 2-3 hours in the morning plus a "few things" here and there.  However, since it was Risen's day, I decided to continue with our usual routine but make sure to give all my energy, eyes, dedication and focus on him.  I made it certain that except for my online work, no other little things will be done.

When I woke up I already had my schedule in mind.  I would have devotions, teach for 2 hours then Risen and I would play, be silly, read aloud, extend bath time, sing, write on doors using chalk, bike outide, buy Stick-O, etc.  When Bryan arrived at around 3:30, the play and fun continued.  At the end of his big day, I was like, why am I a happier mother today?

I suddenly realized because maybe I lived our day without thinking of anything.  I did not mind not being able to do this and that. I did not get pissed having to postpone "other" things because Risen wanted to play.  It dawned on me that this is the true meaning of priority.  Not getting frustrated because my main concern held me back, but being able to let go of the "other things" because of who or what needs me the most.


image not mine
As I mentioned in one of my posts before, full-time moms may easily forget the reason behind their "vocation".  Risen's birthday reminded me that he is my priority (aside from God and Bryan, of course) so I should not worry or get bad irritated when I do not get things done.  I too should not feel unproductive when what I did all day is play with my toddler.  I am a stay-at-home mom because of Risen and not because of the other things.

This season is for Risen.  While Bryan is at work, our son is all mine.  He thinks I am his world so I will give it to him.  The others can wait up until his nap time.

How about you? Is your priority really your priority?



A LETTER FOR MY TODDLER

Risen,

A day before your birthday, I decided to put off work, a proper lunch, and other errands so I can rest because I was feeling really unwell since 6am.  When I entered our room, you were sleeping soundly so I was glad because I knew I could catch some snooze too.  However, when I was about to enter the dreamland, you cried a little and for some reasons, was not able to go back to sleep.  At 12:30 (you were supposed to wake up at 1:30 pa) you decided to play with your floaters while I was hungry, sick, sleepy  and with tons of to-do-list on my head.  I thought to myself if I should go ballistic, pero hindi eh.  I smiled as I watched you walk around with phone chargers hanged on your neck.  Under the blanket and all the sneezing, I was thankful for your life, your father and God.

Babe, thank you for making mommy as patient, as loving, as understanding and as selfless now.  I am now on the other side of the world because of you.  Yes, maybe my life would also be good if I decided to remain single and childless, pero, I do not think my view of life, relationships and Jesus would change this much if God did not give you to me.  You are my biggest life changer and miracle, anak.  Because of you, I have learned the meaning of joyful sacrifice and happy tears. Salamat!


Every night, I would pray that I would be the best mom for you, but every day I would also fail.  With that I am sorry. I will never be a perfect mommy, but I am trying hard.... Please put your eyes on Jesus and not on me.  Mom will disappoint, hurt and make you feel bad (not intentional of course) but your Maker will always know what is the bestest for you.  I pray that God will be with me (us, together with your Dad) when I wake up and watch you, and please, also ask Him to watch you as you grow up.  He is the only one who we can all trust.  Ok, babe?

For now, we will bake, play with water, build blocks, make mess, sing Beatles songs, bike and watch Peppa Pig (one hour a day only, okay?).  I will also make sure your tongue is trained for dishes around the world.  So far, I am really proud because you like Mustard, a tiny spread of Wasabi, veggies and fish.  Yipee.





Happy birthday, Risen our boy!! I love you.  Pa kiss sa kili kili! mwahhhh!!!!

PS.


Let this be our birthday gift to you.  Mommy had her passport at 25 so you are considered cool to have it at 2.  We do not know where we will go yet, Mommy has to do Accounting 101 pa, but, I want you to know Mom and Dad desires to go places with you.  Not as fancy as Disneyland, nor smelly zoos where animals are sadly caged, but in towns where we can sleep in tents, look at the stars, play in muddy puddles (just like Peppa pig) and maybe even swim with lots of fishies!!  We pray that God will allow us to take you to lovely places, honey!! Pray with us, okay? :)


MY BIRTHING STORY

It was on August 9, 2013 when I was told by my OB (Dra. Leomi Olivarez) that I have to give birth in a week's time because Risen (we were uncertain of the gender but sure of the name)is already big for my small frame.  She also said that if I do not labor in the coming days, she would be forced to cut be up because it is a bit impossible for my tiny structure to deliver normally.  Hence, I decided to continue working at Fluor and visit the malls in Alabang after my shift.

It was a Tuesday around 10pm, when I started feeling strong and persistent contractions.  I started timing the intervals and realized that I am having them every 20-25 minutes.  I woke up Bryan and told him that about my condition. We waited a little more then we decided to call my parents to pick us up and bring us to the hospital (we were staying at Studio 1 that time).

We arrived at Muntinlupa Doctors Hospital at around 2am.  I was checked by the OB residents and they concluded that I am on my "way to give birth" (2cm).  They called Dra. Olivarez and she ordered that I stay in the hospital for monitoring.  After praying for me, Risen and Bryan, Papa and Mama decided to go home first.  I stayed in the Emergency room for more or less 30 minutes while Bryan arranges a private room.

At around 3:00am, I found myself in the labor room.  I was alone with a few residents coming in and out.  Since I was the only patient, I was frequently asked, monitored and advised to get some rest.  There was an IV inserted on my left hand and a baby heart monitor was placed on my tummy.  At that time, there was a minimal pain already.  I did not mind this and even decided to catch some snooze.  However, a Resident would come by and visit to do IE. This was painful and waaaaay awkward but tolerable.

I stayed calm up until they broke my water bag at around 1pm.  I was like "okay, I feel the pain..."  It was "manageable".  The kind of pain that will make your eyes close and your hands clasped.  This was still okay.  Kaya pa.  However, after an hour, maybe this was around 2pm, the pain went up to another level.  It was like Dysmenorrhea times 100!!!

I was in terrible pain for more or less 3 hours.  I remember squeezing an Intern's hands named Jericho (I will never ever forget his name).  I might have broken his carpals! Grabe naman kasi talaga sa sakit.  It was like I felt like I was gonna pass out.  I kept on shouting in the labor room.  I asked for the doctors just to do a C-section coz I can't handle the pain anymore but they told me I was "almost there".  At around 4:00pm, my vision is already black.  I have not eaten since 2am, I was in terrible pain since 2pm. I have been awake for 12 hours straight!!  My gulay, so this is LABOR!!!!

At around 4pm, between my shouts of despair, I was begging the doctors to bring me to the delivery room.  For the first time in my life, I have experienced the meaning of HINDI KO NA KAYA.  At around 4:45, they brought me to the delivery room.  I was so tired I would fall asleep between my "push".  I was not able to give my best in my push because I was already dead tired.  They had to do fundal push (a heavy weight nurse puts his arm with his full weight on my belly to help Risen out).

After 30 minutes, Risen finally saw the world!!  My doctors told me I had a boy (we did not know his gender).  The last thing I heard was "sige Mico, matulog ka na"

There I finally gave birth!!

PS.

When  my OB finally went out to talk to Bryan about my delivery, the first thing she mentioned was "ang ingay ng asawa mo" instead of telling Risen's gender!  hehehe

Plussss, Byran knew who exactly who our baby was in the nursery.  Lukso ng dugo must be true! :)








RISEN'S STRAINED MUSCLE EXPERIENCE

He jumped from stool (a foot high) and was stopped on the process.  Though I immediately heard his cry and saw his pain, I thought he will be "fine" in a bit.  I asked him to take a rest and watch a video as a put a sling (using a lampin) on his arm.

Our usual bedtime routine continued with extra care on his arm.  He cried a little when we changed his clothes so me and Bryan got a little convinced that maybe he is really hurt.  As we read books to Risen is still unable to move his arm so we decided that if he won't be comfortable in his sleep,we would bring him to Manila Doctors Hospital.

At around 7pm, he was able to sleep and at 9:00 pm, me and Bryan started to settle in our bed too. However, I heard a long scream and a loud cry at around 10:00pm.  I carried him which made him cry more (the loudest I have ever heard!!).  I looked at Bryan and we both know we had to drive to the hospital.

We were thankful for the fast and efficient medical staff of Manila Doctors Hospital.  They knew what to do.  Risen had an x-ray right away and the Ortho saw that he did not fracture his arm.  The initial finding was Muscle strain.  However, we were advised to monitor pain because there is a certain kind of fracture called Greenstick fracture that can't be seen in the x-ray.  The Ortho said that if the pain will continue for 2 days, it will be best for us to go back.  After putting a sling to Risen and giving him Ibuprofen, we were sent home at 1:30 am.

Risen was still awake on our way home and me and Bryan were totally hungry! We decided to drive-thru Jolibee and feast before sleeping.  We tried to put Risen to sleep first but he said "nam-nam" (food) and juice - I guess the crying and the pain also made him hungry!!  Haaaay, at this time, me and Bryan are calmer. Thank God for His provision and protection.

snacking at 2am


the morning after our ER incident

Before I end this blog, let me turn this to more than just a story.  I hope that you can learn from our experience.  Below are the things I hope you would also find helpful.

1.  If thinking of going or not going to the ER, the better option is to go

2.  Toddlers can suffer from fracture and sprains.  According to the Ortho, It is NOT true that hindi napipilayan ang mga bata

3.  When there is a discomfort or a suspected sprain or fracture remember RICE.  Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation.  For more information, read this, mommies.

4.  Save-up for emergency money

5.  Read up on safety and first-aid.  It feels good to know what to do 

Mommyhood Gets "Easier"

For the first time last week, I was able to cook while Risen busily played in our sala.  We have come to the stage that I can leave him "alone" for some time.  Also, my little buddy has been bottle-free for a month now.  He drinks his milk using straw.  This means that when we are out, I just need to bring fresh milk and we are good to go!


Risen proud of what we built


I can go on and on with Risen's milestones, however, alongside these "achievements", I want to highlight that mommyhood gets easier with time.  Age permits out little ones to be slowly independent and though this may be a little sentimental, I am glad to see Risen do his thing.

Really moms,  it gets easier.

Some of you may feel that you will be hostaged for life, but with the right mindset, let me say again that it will be lighter in the coming months.  Hang in there and enjoy smelling your baby's armpits while you still can!

May you enjoy this season of your life, mommies!



MY TODDLER vs MY PRIDE

Risen's routine before bedtime consists of drinking milk, prayer and cuddle time. Last night, after  emptying his bottle, he playfully threw it on my face.  It hit my cheekbone so my reaction was a very loud "arrrayyyy".  Risen and Bryan were shocked.  After 3-5 seconds Bryan asked how I was but Risen stayed silent (probably really surprised by my reaction).

I turned my back on them.  I was really hurt (and pissed).  

Bry quietly talked to Risen.  He said that what he did was wrong and that he should say sorry to me. This Daddy-son talk lasted for a minute.  After that, I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder and the word "o-ni" (sorry).  I still did not face him, up until Bryan said "Mommy, si Risen ...".  

I wanted to stay angry because it really hurts. Second, I wanted to prove my point by staying mad --this would surely make Risen feel that what he did was wrong.  However, I knew in my heart that if I brush off Risen's hand and ignore his apologies he will think that this is the right thing to do. Risen will think that the best response to "sorry" is silence or a mad face.   Would I really want this?
Without thinking, I looked at Risen straight to the eye, smiled and hugged him tight.  It was a good feeling to forgive Risen and let go of my pride.  I (and my cheek) felt better :) 

I have to admit that this is not my usual response when Bryan and I fight.  I stay silent and fight him the longest.  I like proving my point by staying mad. I am not proud of my attitude.  I know this is not ideal.    I am just blessed to  have a husband who reminds me that I am not only sinning against him (wives, respect your husbands) but against God. 


When pride comes, then comes disgrace, 
but with humility comes wisdom. 
Proverbs 11:2

I am thankful that God corrected me once again through Risen.  As a parent, I do not want Risen to lenghten his rage when I have to discipline him.  In order for this happen, I have to set an example.  I have to make sure that I will be ready to hug him after he says "sorry", that I can explain calmly why I got angry and patienly listen to his reply.  I have to be ready for this because I know that there will also come the time when he can "predict" that I am silently fighting with Bryan.  Risen needs to see that forgiveness is prioritized in our home.


Be angry and do not sin; 
do not let the sun go down on your anger, 
and give no opportunity to the devil. 
Ephesians 4:26

This desire would be impossible without His grace. My prayer is that I will choose to always value my relationship with my husband, son, family and friends by not allowing my emotions to rule over my action.  His name be praised!


THE FIRST STEP TO DISCIPLINING KIDS

Having Risen means we are in-charge of a life.  We are responsible for someone 24/7.  We are given a chance to raise up a boy whose character and personality are still developing.  In all of this, the word discipline is highlighted.  However, how do we begin? When? Where?


image from http://www.sarahdoody.com/


I believe that the first step to raising kids is to agree with your spouse the form of discipline to use. As a teacher, I have learned that the twin of the word discipline is consistency  It could not be a "yes" today then a "no" tomorrow or a "yes" from the mom and a "no" from the Dad.  It has to be fixed.  It has to be consistent.  It has to be the same.  The husband and wife have a agree.

So talk about it and discuss what discipline method to use. If you can't completely decide on somthing specific, compromise.  Meet halfway.

Parenting is difficult and it is more challenging if the mom and dad are not one in raising their kids. Trust me, you would not want to confuse your children so I am sure you can agree on something!

MORNINGS WITH GOD

For the past weeks, every time I wake up I always tell myself that... "today, I would be the best wife and mother everrrrr".  With this in mind, I think of the perfect breakfast and make a mental list of the things I have to accomplish. However,  by mid-morning, things start to swell up with the situations I can't control (I get impatient, students cancel or book impromptu lessons, Risen longs for extra attention, etc). By lunch time, I am already a cranky mother who is so excited to feed, bathe and put Risen in his bed - I have already forgotten that "today, I would be the best wife and mother everrrrr".

Good thing, God pointed me to another thing I have forgotten - my morning devotions.  I read the Bible but I usually do it when things have calm down (mostly in the afternoon).  I realized that what I need to do is to spend my time with the Lord first so I can happily work on the task ahead of me.

Maybe this is why Mama is one of the best wives and mothers I know.  Since high school, I have always  always seen her Daily Bread and used up Bible on top of our dining table.  At times, when I wake up earlier than expected, I see her praying on the same spot.  Yes, my mom is very prayerful and she chooses to hear from God first before her world gets crazy.

My days have been messy for the past few weeks but I am glad that tomorrow I can be the best wife and mother by honoring my time with God first.  It would be difficult to wake up earlier but I know God (and me too) has been missing our morning sessions.  May I be able to always remember that Jesus also did this while He was on earth.  May He become my inspiration to make my early mornings right.


Before daybreak the next morning, 
Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. 
Mark 1:35

Three "Ordinary" Things That Your Toddler Does Not Really Need

1.  Sounding Toothbrush - This cute sounding toothbrush is a possible source of fight during wash time.  Since it creates sounds, the tendency is for the toddler to get and play with it.  There goes the wrestling match during bath time between mommy and baby!

2.  Puzzle Mats - Puzzle mats are important!  You can place it in your play areas, rooms and any other places where your toddlers stay.  However, the puzzle mats that contain letters and shapes take time to tidy!  Mommies would usually take time to match the mats with the letters and this is not good during busy days (actually, even on normal days).  So if you want a pack and play kind of mat, choose the biggest sizes without that does not contain letters to match.  I suggest you pick the mat right below.

image from greenmats.com



image from sushisantiago.com

3.  Toys that are not for their age - This one does not really work.  If the toy is for 5 years old and above, a 2 year old will not be able to maximize its usage.  Aside from it may contain small parts that are dangerous to kids, it is not just worth it.  I have seen moms who pushed the idea that their child is "mature" enough to handle the toy.  Unluckily, I have seen the same mothers regret getting the inappropriate toys for their kids.  Let us take it from them and not commit the same mistakes.






Tough Love On Risen: Part 2

Here, I ranted on how we needed to break Risen's habit of wanting to sleep in our bed all the time. As promised, now, I will let you know how he responded.

Ate Dot, one of the seasoned moms I know told us to simply talk to Risen.  She also suggested to place a pillow or a blanket in his crib so Risen can associate this to his sleeping place.

So, on a Friday night, I said this (I also did a lot of hand gestures) to Risen before putting him to sleep. Just pardon the choppy English.  I just use the essential or content words so my toddler would understand.

"Risen, mommy and daddy bed.  
Risen crib. Risen, embrace Mickey Mouse.  
Risen, crib.  Risen sleep Mickey Mouse.  
Risen sleep crib. 
 Risen embrace Mickey Mouse."

I remember doing this for 3 minutes.  I did this while he was on my lap so my eyes could meet his.

After this, we prayed and hugged then I placed him in his crib.

And you know what happened? No fuss, no crying!  He stayed in his sleeping place. He slept on his own and did not wake up in the middle of the night!  I know, amazing, right?!



So, ladies and gentlemen, do not underestimate a 15 month old toddler!! They can already understand! :)

Tough Love on Risen: Part 1

**Originally written January 2015

For the past two weeks, Risen has been waking up in the middle of the night crying.  He would point at our bed and plead to be transferred.  In the beginning, we thought it was “sweet” for him to miss us during his sleep (he has been sleeping in his crib since day 1).  Little did we know, it would be a start of a not so good habit.

Today, he did not want to stay in his crib at all.  He wanted his morning and afternoon naps in our bed.  This means I had to watch and guard him the whole time.  This means that I won’t be able to do my morning tasks which include online work, a few errands, working out and some house chores.  He naps from 8:00 to 9:15 and  12:30 - 2pm.   These two naps are so precious that I can’t just give it up.  Yes, call me selfish, but still, I need this time of my day.

Bryan and I realized that his wanting to be in our bed in the middle on night gave him an idea that he can sleep in our bed always (yes, we are also one of the couples who think that it is not (always) okay to share beds with kids).  We hope to break this habit soon.  This would include crying every time we put him to sleep, tears in the middle of the night, sleepless nights in the coming days and maybe even frustration.  However, as young as 16 months, we have to teach Risen.  It may not be conducive for him, but we have to.

Funny on how we did not see this coming.  We thought he just wanted to cuddle in the middle on the night. Now, it is a habit we need to break.  We are still new in our parenting journey and we know that Risen will have a lot of habits that we would need to break in the future. For now, Risen has to be reminded that he can’t sleep in our bed just because he wanted to.

Painful but needed.  Masakit sya sa heart.  Pero sige lang, kailangan.

On my next blog, I will tell you how Risen responded to our "tough love".


How To Enjoy a Children's Party with your Toddler

Children's party are not only for kids.  In the Philippines, this is also the perfect time for parents to socialize with other parents.  Birthday celebrations could also be like a semi reunion or a quick catch up with relatives, friends and officemates.  However, this can be difficult with a toddler.  It is quite challenging to share stories with other guests when your little one likes to run around, play with other toddlers or just be a typical kiddo who would want his freedom in a crowded room.

Last Saturday, we were invited to Dria's first birthday and dedication.  We were really excited to spend a late afternoon with our Discipleship group from CCF Muntinlupa that we made sure we are "party ready" with Risen.  These are the things that we did, and hopefully, you could get a tip or two:

 


1.  Eat before leaving - This goes for both the toddler and parents.  Hunger could make the baby cranky and parents impatient.  Note that most parties would have programme and games first. If you leave the house with a full stomach, chances are, you will be ready to eat again (but not famished) once the food is served.

our handsome husbands ready to party (and attack the buffet table)!!


2. Parents, wear dark clothes - Avoid the white, beige, and pastel colors. Why? because any parent does not want food stain from his toddler's face and hand.  To be safe, use dark colored tops.  This would make spaghetti sauce, ketchup and soda spills invisible.


3.  Allow your toddler to participate in the party.  Risen only stayed on his kiddie chair for like 5 minutes.  However, that was still 5 minutes!! For a toddler whose parents were 3 yards away, that was awesome! Besides, this could be a good training for them.  Someday, they will have to party on their own. Just keep those wathcful eyes, parents!  


4,  Once the food is served, decide who will eat first.  It  is either the mommy or daddy (unless you have a yaya with you).

5.  Speaking of a yaya, ask your party host if you could bring one ;)  

6.  Accept the mess your child will bring on the table.  Feeding a toddler could be difficult, untidy and chaotic so just let it be and do not expect your son to eat like a gentleman.  Yes, food will be dropped, drinks might be all over the place and there might be a spill here and there.  Embrace it mommies, you are with a toddler!  

7.  Bring a stroller or ask for a kiddie chair from the venue host.  This will at least make your child stay seated while eating.

8.  Do not forget to pack the following:  extra set of clothes, wipes, tissue, water, cookies (or any comfort food), and lotsa party spirit!

Thanks for the invite again, Dria.  Please do not tell your dad that Risen stole a kiss from you! hihihi