Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding planning. Show all posts

WAIT!! DO NOT GET MARRIED YET!

Yes, you are hearing this from someone who has been enjoying marriage for almost three years now.  I guess, this is the main reason why I am "warning" those who want to get married to consider the following below.  We have seen how a marriage could be ugly if done carelessly. It can be disappointing if you just jump on it. In many of our intentional talks about our relationship, we have seen how it really takes two  three (God plus us) to run this commitement.

1.  If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, marry someone of the same faith.  I have heard girls (and some boys) say that "okay lang, kasi mabait at responsible naman".  Let me tell you straight that in many decisions that you will make as a husband and wife, you do not need a man who is only kind and responsible.  Go, ask christian couples.  See what they have to say.  I am sure they would tell you that you need a man who will solely rely on God and His direction for your lives. I hope the hand you are holding now is the kind of hands who open up the Bible and commune with God thru prayer.  Because again, hindi pwedeng mabait lang.  Let me convince you more.  Read this

2.  Consider having your own home/apartment first.  Leave and cleave.  Allow your husband to be a leader or your wife to be a real homemaker.  After all, marriage is all about to having your own family so let it be.  It feels good to play "lutu-lutuan" and "bahay-bahayan" with the person you married.  Money may be an issue here, with that, go back to my title - "Wait!! Do Not Get Married Yet!".  To add read up on what Maricar Reyes has to say (wife to Ricahrd Poon) on this.

3.  Be sure to keep an "after wedding money".  A lot of people have told me to never borrow money (loan, use credit card, ask for money, etc) for a wedding because it is not good to start a new life with utang.  I agree with this, plus, to make sure to not spend all your savings for the wedding.  The married life is more important than the event that will only happen for a day. It would be nice if you could follow-up a wedding with spontaneous dates, staycations or even family visits.  Remember that a wedding should not make you broke.  It needs not be expensive.  You can always DIY, invite the closests, be a minimalist and creative.

second night as a married couple in Estancia Tagaytay

4.  Plan a honeymoon.  The first thing that we paid for was our plane ticket to Bangkok and Phuket.  We do not have anything yet but we already had bookings for honeymoon (which I am very glad we did).  Yes, we were that excited! I guess that for a couple who decided to wait (our first kiss was at the altar), this is something that is really cherished and looked forward too.  Our seven day honeymoon plus a long vacation was so worth the wait.  I hope you will choose to really enjoy your honeymoon too.







5. Having a baby can be "accepted" but it should not be a reason to get married.  I do not know how to put this without being too direct.  Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.  A baby does not only need parents.  He would want a mother and a father who loves each other as well.

6.  Talk about it.  Do not just discuss it between the two of you but have someone guide you, ask you difficult questions, mentor you and show you what marriage is all about.  Yes, marriage is different from every couple, but it would not hurt to get wisdom from the seasoned ones.  It will helpful to see what could be difficult and answer it with all honesty because one way or another, you will have to deal with it in the future. 

7.  Marry for the right reasons.  Not because you want to escape from responsibilities, not because you want to be away from home, not because to have a family (because what if God won't give you kids?), not because you are already old, not because of financial freedon, not because of convenience.  Get married because you have chosen to love and will choose to love the same person for a lifetime and lastly and most importantly, because it is clear that this is what God wants you to be and do.


(some of our) WEDDING SUPPLIERS




** The list below is in alphabetical order.  You may message me for the rates.

      Coordinator- RHED EVENTS – We originally wanted Darlene of Perfect 10 Weddings (saw her work in two weddings and she was just flawless), apparently, she went on hiatus to focus on her family more.  We were hopeless because we know that coordinators can either make or break a wedding.  Pag palpak ang Coor mo, palpak ang wedding mo.  We went from one team to another, and yet, we still can’t figure who the best team would be.  Good thing, someone dropped the name RHED SARMIENTO.  I and my Maid-of-Honor spied on her FB account and got impressed.  When I spoke with her, I knew she will be good.  We booked her and were not disappointed at all.

We sat with her thrice (first meet up, venue visit and final dits).  We saw and felt that she knew what she was doing.  On the wedding day, we further witnessed how efficient and dedicated she and her entire team was.  We and our families were so relaxed.  We just felt like playing dress-up. They also made sure that everyone was ready and prompt.  We did not have to think of anything/anyone else –She did all this for us.  So if you want a stress/hassle free wedding – GET HER! (I am speaking in behalf of a bride na nagtitipid na OC and Theater Arts major)

View her page here

Caterer – QUEENSLAND – I have known and tasted Queensland since I was young and I do not remember having any qualms about them.  Titas, friends and neighbors also attested to the taste and affordability they bring.  Bryan has yet to be impressed so we sat down for food tasting – and as I was sure – he liked, loved it. 

I     I  suggest Queensland for those who want good food that comes with a cheap cost. Just do not be carried away with their grand set-up (we chose the simplest one).  We had plastic chairs covered in white cloth and tables with white cloth as well with olive green runners.  We did not opt for the one with a lot of skirting and ribbons on the chairs because it could look stocky.

       Another tip is, when giving tips (yes, tips), make sure it goes to the right person (head waiter).  Or I suggest, announce it to everyone that you gave a tip and the tip is for each one of them.  Since Queensland does a lot of events in a day, some waiters are not monitored ethically.  BUT, then again, when it comes to service, food handling, taste and cost – we had zero problems from Queensland. 


           Gowns – ATE DIANA – I was so sure that I won’t get a gown designer so I knew I had to get a magaling na mananahi.  Thank God for my Subject Head in ICA, I met Ate Diana in her little home turned tahian.  I brought her the pictures of the wedding gown and the pretty dresses we wanted for the entourage.  She was able to execute it perfectly  (moms, MOH, secondary sponsors, flower girls).  For those who want a Divisoria rate but a very professional outcome, message me, and I will bring you to her! 

       Make-up – CHALK – This was the last thing we booked. First, I do not like putting on make-ups (no make-up during pre-nup for me), second trial make-ups are expensive and trial make-ups on wedding expos mean long lines.  With this scenario and having had 3 trial make-ups, I decided to get a friend who always does my make-up.  However, weeks before the wedding, his schedule got tighter and we both knew I had to get another.  I mentioned this confusion to my coordinator so she suggested a make-up artist she works with.  No trial, no meet-ups, I said “yes”…Although I can say trials are still important, but let me say, I and my entourage won BIG TIME with Chalk and his assistant! 


      Photographer - CATILO PHOTOGRAPHY- I have not met Bryan yet, but I was already sure of who to get as photographers.  Yes, ganyan ako ka-believe sa kanila.  When we were finalizing our suppliers, one of our rules is to NOT get people whom we are friends with.  We made an exemption for the Catilos here (I have known Sheila and her fam since high school) because I believe in what they can deliver pre, during and post photoshoot.  And man, I was not wrong. GALING!  What we like about them is that they did not ask us to pose.  We just have to be ourselves, and voila – awesome shots!! As what as I have been bragging about, our pictures our very candid, natural and us.  They were able to capture our moments and the every story behind it.   Just google Catilo Photography and you will never get lost.. :)

       Rings - SUAREZ - Bryan was so sure of this from the very beginning.  Suarez have been in the industry for years and the older generation can attest of their quality and value.  Actually, he also got be Suarez when he proposed.  I did not question Bry about this.   I did not know anything about jewelry din naman eh!haha

      Wedding Cupcakes – DAVID’S CUPCAKES – Ian is a full time mom, baker and art teacher.  Perfect combination di’ba? Since we wanted very simple cupcakes, we thought that it should be the tastiest and cheap.  Kasi db? Simple na nga tapos hindi pa masarap? Good thing, we had a chance to sample Ian’s cupcakes twice.  We attended a debut and a wedding and we were pleased on how they were delivered, presented and TASTED.  Yum, indeed! – Even our guests loved it.  Check out her yummy cupcakes! click now!











FOUR


** originally written last August 2012

I just want to get it over with!!!

We have been wedding planning for almost a year now and I feel that is a bit long for two people who have been together for over a year and 5 months (only).  So yes, again, as o f 8:48  am,  I want to get married NOW. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I have been enjoying and learning from all these thinking, discussions, meet-ups, budgeting, and decision making with our suppliers and Bryan (hence, this blog is here) but I am just really thrilled to see everything happen in one day.  Ano kayang mangyayari on God’s big day? Hhhhmmmmm …Which brings me back to the idea of “unfairness” – imagine? We have been planning this for a year, tapos 4 hours lang mangyayari? There goes the money (too)!! :P

Let me further strengthen this sentiment because it is not only I that feels this, Bryan too!  Atleast, I am not the only one who wants to be wedded - the feeling is mutual! Haha

Hay.  16 more Sundays.  Next month is a –BER month already thus it would be swifter.  Ber means Christmas.  Christmas means December.  December means God’s big day.  **insert a big smile here**

SIX


**originally written last June 2012

Where did December to June go? 6 months flew really fast.  Good thing my reliable planner is here to remind me that 6 months really happened and I (we) am (are) now facing the last 2 quarters of wedding/ marriage planning. 

In 6 months, I will be walking down the aisle and marry the man that God prepared for me.  Arrrggghhh, ang lapit na!!   I remember weeks ago, in one of our random talks, we found ourselves saying that we can’t put our feelings in a single picture.  It is a bit of everything!  It is a fragment of happiness, of excitement, of worry, of curiosity, of madness, of jitters, of happy tears ,et al.  This makes me really say “wwwaaahhhhhhh 6 months !!!”

Of course, in the middle of this emotional roller coaster, we are also caught between our wedding planning and marriage counseling.  What a joy that this is all happening on the days we know that we have 6 months to be extra prepared.  This is so true especially with our 10 counseling sessions with the Velardo(s).  Our talks with them are making us nearer to God and to each other.  I am totally recommending counseling for couples who are getting married. Couples should remember that marriage is more important than a wedding.  So, aside from wedding planning, dapat mas bongga ang marriage planning!   This brings me to the thought that a wedding will only happen for four hours, but the marriage is for a lifetime.  So choose marriage, not weddings.  



 “Lord, thank you for your time which I know is perfect from the very beginning.  Thank you for the last 6 months of preparations.  May You continue to guide us and prepare us as we strive to be the best wife and husband for each other.  Empower us and remind us that we can do this not with our own might but only by Your spirit….Amen”  


The pics below are the families that always pray for us and with us. 
 Thank God for your lives.

our marriage counselors + ninang and ninong + mentors = velardo family








NINE (vs. 12)

 ** originally written last March 06, 2012


I have been counting the days until we get married by blogging monthly.  Allow this blog to be a bit different because it is exactly nine months before our wedding day PLUS our first year anniversary. 

I still have in me what happened and felt that night.  It was March 6, 2011, a Sunday - the last show of “Jesus Artists Refined for Souls – Friends Forever”.  It was also the same day he met my church family and the second time he saw my parents.  That morning, I was actually already contemplating on giving my “yes” so I was praying and hoping that there would be a sort of a sign, good chance and timing. 

Before and after the play, I introduced him to my friends and their parents so everyone looked at us with a teasing smile (you know how a community church is like).  They just “know” and I was shy of course.   In addition to the jokes of my friends, and stares of titas and titos, they asked us to have our picture taken on stage in front of everyone.   Two of the “everyone” were my parents and as I glanced at them, I saw the big smile on both their faces – all smiles looking at us   And I just knew, I can make it official. SIGN - check!

Timing and chance, next.    

Since the play ended late and I have an early class at Adamson the next day, I took the “chance” to ride with Bryan to Manila.  Praise God for my cousins’ (Tan, Dei and Shei) condo in Manila,  I have a place to crash into.  Our conversation inside his car was light, up until I teased him about Canada.  He jokingly told me that I can leave Philippines and he is actually okay with it.  Our talk went along, until we reached the condominium of my cousins.  Since date no. 1, it has been my ritual to utter “thank you” for each of the things he did for me that day.  So I began saying “Thank you sa pag punta”, “Thank you sa pag-nood”, “Thank you sa pag hatid”, etc.. then he replied (as if nagtatampo) with a “ganyan naman eh, lagi na lang thank you”.  I replied with a smile, then turned my back against him to open the car door.  Before reaching the latch, I looked at him back and without blinking, right straight to his face, after taking a deep breath, I said "I love you too".

Then we exchanged smiles, asaran, eye contacts, tears, laughters and sighs.

 Instead of getting off the car, he shifted to first gear .  We parked then prayed near CCP and Yellow Cab.  We walked from the parking lot side by side and held hands.  I kept on glancing at our clasped hands for I was in disbelief of a breathtaking love story.  Sigh.  I could not ask and will not ask for more. 

And the rest, as they say is HIS-story.

Below are the pictures of the event at church before I said "I love you too".. :)







THE PICTURE THAT WAS TAKEN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE


ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TULIP :)

My Groom and Maid-of-Honor (in one)




I have the best-of-honor -- my groom. 

I was actually a bit shock (in the beginning) and happy (later on) to witness on how much Bryan is into our wedding/marriage planning.  He is not the type of man I hear some brides-to-be complain about.  He is super hands on.  I feel that I am actually getting married with someone! :)

I first observed this trait during our first fight. Ganito yun…

We were at Café’ Breton flipping wedding magazines and brainstorming on the possibilities of a beach themed wedding.  Days before that, being me as a lover of the sand, sun and sea,  I already started imagining what the secondary sponsors would wear and what the decors would be.  I had a picture in my mind and those pictures were already real to me (anyway, most of the groom I talked with let their fiancée decide on some details).

But I was wrong.  Bryan questioned my ideas and debunked the picture I had in mind.  TADDDDAAAA!! --away mode!   The fight was between Mico who is used to deciding alone vs Bryan who adores the word togetherness. 

Since that night, I realized that the guy I am with pays and will pay attention to details. And yes, I super appreciate this now.  Believe it or not, he has never said “bahala ka na dyan” on any wedding element we have been discussing.  (as of July 21, 2012)--Winner! 

He is the type of groom who would roughly flip magazines, and tell me to check on the pages he folded (Kahit na naiinis ako, kasi gusto ko, naka post-it :P). He would also send me links of possible suppliers.  He would even study (with markers and lines) and compute the rates we have been handed out (sya kasi mostly magbabayad J).  Plusss, he photojourns!  He would give me these drawn random thoughts!  Ang cute!   Haaay, he made himself even more lovable! J

So, with the absence of my Maid-of Honor (she was in the US when I was writing this), I don’t feel lost in all this planning. I have the best groom and maid-of-honor!!!


we knew we just have to see what UP has to offer

usual planning set-up

DIVI-day

Takaw meal after a tiring day

Tagaytay


PAMAMANHIKAN


I teach Filipino literature so I know what Pamamanhikan is.  Aside from the relevance of this word in my teaching life, I too know that this signals many things to the couple.  It means an announcement to get married, a kick-off to wedding planning, and a family commitment to bring a girl and a boy down the altar.

Aside from the technical and cultural aspect of this wonderful Filipino custom, I also know couples who got stressed over this getting together.   Who would not be nervous, right?  Kaya naman, Bry and myself really included this in our prayer time together.  We know how important this is for us-- especially for Bry who is very mindful of our relationship with each other’s parents from the very beginning.

Along side with our desire to make this day significant and “perfect”, we started working on the preps we have to make.  Good thing, we had a chance to visit Baguio so we asked Pastor Gerson how Pamamanhikan (the Christian way—because we believe this is not only a Filipino tradition) exactly happens.  He also gave a few tips (particularly to Bryan) and suggestions for the meet-up.  After knowing of who should speak and what one must say, we decided on the banquet our families will be sharing. This actually took planning and long funny talks!   We had to consider what one eats, can bring and should prepare.  By 10 pm before the big night, we were able to finalizeJ.  At last!

Hours before the Pamamanhikan, Bryan and I made several phone calls — asking and updating each other’s whereabouts and situations (Bryan picked his parents from the airport).  The last phone call was made and I knew they were just 5 minutes away.  Okay, this is it.  Dub dub dub dub dub….

The opening of the door, pag-mamano and greetings were quick that I was not able to process that Bryan’s parents were already seated on our dining table.  Whew!  While Bry, I and Mama were reheating the Igado (YUM) that his father cooked from Ilocos, his parents leisurely talked with Pastor Vernon and his wife and Papa.  After 10 minutes, I found us sharing meals and stories.  Ayan, less pawis na.  I am starting to relax.

After the desserts, we went down to the sala where Inay was also waiting (I fetched Inay from Alfonso).  We formed a small circle and Pastor Vernon facilitated the talk.  Since we were already mid wedding planning and our parents have been consulted several times in the past, the Pamamanhikan of Bryan’s family was not that “specific” anymore.  His father first spoke and let my family know of their intentions for the visit.  Then Bryan’s mom , Inay, Mama, Bryan said a thing or two too. 

 I witnessed how both families are more than willing to have each of us as their own son and daughter.  I heard promises, stories, wishes and prayers. I saw stares of sincerity, happy parents, and oneness of desires. I remember laughters, Bry’s caress of assurance on my shoulder, warmth in my heart.  I felt God and his affirmation to our prayers that indeed,  this marriage came from Him.    

 So that was Pamamanhikan. Ganun pala yun.  This is an evidence that God moves in our traditions and culture too.  Today, as I type this, I praise God that I am a Filipino.  I am definitely a happier “bride-to-be-Pinay”.







ELEVEN - marriage countdown



** this was originally written last February 2012.  

It was supposed to be September 17, 2012.  When we decided to move it to December, I was a bit apprehensive because I felt that the three-month gap would be a long wait (ako na excited).  But now, that I (we) am exactly 11 months away from our wedding date, I am just so thankful we adjusted it.  Time zooms.

11 Communions to go, and we are off to marriage.

Now that I am counting days, God has been reminding me of the little “wishful thinkings” I had as a young girl.  During IVCF camps and conferences, when couples would inspire young hearts on how God authored their love stories, I would get jealous and say, “sana ako din ganyan”.  I NEVER fervently prayed for a man (up until Bryan courted me), but I remember saying to myself  “Gusto ko yan gawin with my husband.  I want to share how we met too.  His version then my version…”  And guess what? In one of our talks, he mentioned that he is open to the possibility of sharing how God puzzled us together.  And I was like…teka, this sounds familiar…I wished for this before!  I have forgotten but God has not!  AMAZING! Talk about how God moves and remembers!  YES! He is faithful -- even to those little requests I just spontaneously uttered!!

 I can’t wait for the day/s God will allow us to share how he brought us together. Even though we haven’t pegged any date yet, it is just amazing that Bryan is open for this idea too.     This journey with Bryan and God has been awesome.   11 months will quickly pass by but I know God will not stop here.  Isn’t He really great?


Shing, an ISCF batchmate/friend and K. Dennis, my ISCF counselor

A. Dot's home in Baguio inspired me to dream of families.
She and her husband are our marriage counselor too.

Kuya Eric, my KC Camp Director.  He was engaged and fondly talked about his love story during KC.


SINGLE LADIES, THESE PHRASES ARE TRUE



 Below is a list of one-liners married women usually say when asked about their love stories.  These “phrases” mean nothing before, but now, I can so relate!!

  • “Wag mong hanapin, dadating din yun “ (do not look for love, it will come) – Bryan came into my life when I was fixing papers for Canada.   It was also the time when I told myself this -  “I am okay with the idea of being single forever.  Mag ta-travel na lang ako!”  Then, with a snap of a finger, I fell in love!

  • “Kabaligtaran ng gusto mo yung makakatuluyan mo” (you will not marry your type) – My boyfriend is gwapo (naman!).   He is gwapo but not my type.  Bryan is the “boy next door, goody-good” type of handsome,however, I am more attracted to “ruggedly/parang mambubugbog” type of a man.  At the end of the day, who cares? Basta gwapo, tapos ang kwento! :p

  • “May mas okay pa sa ex mo!!” (I was in love with another man) Hay, good thing I did not marry my first love!  Buti, the ex is married! (I discovered his real status after 2 years of being together -- BLOG to follow).  When I was still moving on, my thoughts were “why is my ex married? if he was not, we would have been married”.  Now, I am just sooooo thankful he has a wife. Buti na lang talaga.  Bryan is just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy better!  GOOD THING, HE IS MARRIED AND I WAITED!

  • “Alam mo pag yun na” (You will know if he is the one) – With my present relationship, there is no “I hope we really end up together”, it is more of “With God, I know.  I just know.”   

  • “bata ka pa, wag magmadali” (You are still young, do not hurry love) – I started wedding planning at 30.  Need I say more?

  • “I-enjoy mo ang pagiging single, dahil iba na pag may asawa” (Enjoy single life, because once you are married, things turn upside down)Among the list, this is what I fully lived up to (buti na lang).  When I was still not committed, I grabbed all the chances of thinking for one, traveling whenever and wherever, meeting people, enjoying my hard earned (ehem) money, exploring new things, and being very spontaneous.  Looking back, no regrets. I have enjoyed my single life and though thinking for two is challenging, I know I am "ready" for this.

  • “Iba pa rin pag Christian”  (It is different when the person you are with is a “Christian”) – Oh yes! One hundred percent true.  I can probably come up with a hundred of reasons why every single person should consider this.  You may read my blog, WHY NOT, NON-C for further discussions on this. 

So, have you heard these one-liners too?  What do you have to say?

BELOW ARE SOME OF THE WOMEN I TALK MARRIAGE AND WEDDINGS WITH:

Tita Gerlyn and Pastor Vernon is one of the couples I look up to.
Tita Gerlyn is my spiritual mentor who has watched me grow (in all aspects!).
Ate Faye (far right),  is an epitome of "it is okay to be single"
Ate angel (middle) told me that "it is ok to be single than marry the wrong person".
Ate Dot naman, was the first woman who inspired me to pray weddings and marriage.
When I first walked into her home in Baguio (2003), I was like, gusto kong ikasal! :)
My tita (s) who all told me that I should find a man stronger than me.
They all proved that Dimanligs can me submissive! I miss them all!
My College Professor/mentor, Mam Cerbo (middle).  She affirmed our love story.
 She always knows what to say. :) 
The mom who made me witness that one can be friends with her kids.
I miss our morning talks Mam Tetel!  Thanks for being our cheerleader!

FINALLY!!!

This blog took a lot of thinking, prayers and guts.  I have been writing and sharing my thoughts to my closests for quite some time now, but, I have been fidgety on the idea of blurting my feelings and views to the public through writing. I am just a bit anxious that I will be judged first as an English teacher than as a woman pouring her heart out. 

However, this whole wedding-marriage planning made me see, feel and do cartwheels so I can’t help but share! I need to spread it around, or else, sasabog ako :p…  So, just like our approaching wedding, I am taking a leap of faith -- I will blog! :) 


I really and uberly  hope that my insights, questions and experiences on relationships et al will stimulate your mind and heart. Just like to me, may my journey inspire and bless you.  

I can’t believe I am finally (and happily) doing this. 

WELCOME, READERS.  PONDER WITH ME.