SELF WORTH vs. NET WORTH

"Our self worth is not determined by our net worth"


This thought pierced my heart.  It was a beautiful and timely reminder that I should continually seek for what is eternal than on what moths can destroy on earth. 

Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.  (Matthew 6:19-21)


Do not get me wrong, I still want those pretty things (I would be happy to get  a new pair of shoes today) but in my motherhood, God taught me contentment -- to not base my happiness on worldly possessions, to not be controlled by the things I cannot buy, to not be driven by money and to not be jealous with the people who appear (as seen on Instagram) to have the every new thing.

I hope to make more memories with my family.  To cultivate friendships and relationships.  To feast over stories and experiences.  To help people. To be kind. To do ministry.  

And with my posts, I hope to click and share and not click and brag, because truly, what can I boast about?



This is what the LORD says: 
"Let not the wise boast of their wisdom 
or the strong boast of their strength 
or the rich boast of their riches. 
Jeremiah 9:23




Lord,
Thank you for what I have and I do not have.  I am thankful for the things I have now and for the dreams and desires You placed in my heart which I know will all happen in Your time. For now, I will wait.  And as I wait, I pray that You will continue to keep me contented.  That I will not be driven by money, possessions and status symbol.  Thank you for allowing me drop a lot of earthly things to prove that You indeed is my all.  With You, I am complete.  Amen



Motherhood: On Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom

I have been fantasizing of being a stay-at-home-mom long before I met Bryan.  I was convinced that this would be my way of raising my children.  However, when I was already in the reality of saying goodbye to my so called career, it dawned on me that it was a difficult choice. Hindi pala madali to let go of a life that you have been into for the longest time.  I had my own set of doubts.   And we, as a couple, had questions, issues and concerns to face.  But since we were both certain that this is what God wants for our little family (we respect those moms who chooses/needs to work), we pushed through with it.

Our first “worry” was money.  Being a full time mom would make us rely on Bryan’s paycheck (who is on study leave now).  With a growing baby to provide for, a house and car to maintain and tummies to feed, this was a big dilemma. We had to compute, re-compute, add, deduct, etc and figure out how we will “live”.  This was very humbling because we were both financially very capable before we got married, and now, we have to suddenly cut on our spending.  Amidst of all the questions on how we will survive, we are comforted that where God leads, He provides.  We never ran out of bills to pay and needs to buy, but up until now, I do not know how God makes it work for us.  He is really our Jehovah Jireh.  He provides!

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To add, being a stay-at-home-mom equals to house-arrest.  Did I tell you I cannot literally stay at home? I have to leave the house every single day.  I am allergic to staying at home 24hours.  This will make me insane!  However, Risen came and he taught me I can.  Kaya naman pala.  Although I must admit that the first two months was the hardest.  I would often secretly cry and ask myself “ito na lang ba talaga buhay ko ngayon? Breastfeed, burp, play with baby, put him to sleep?”  But, it got easier!  On Risen’s third month, chores became manageable, I was able to go out again, meet friends, fix myself and spend time with Bryan.  My life became active and I felt normal again.  Today, I just need to go out at least once a week (church not counted).  Ok na ko with this. hihihi

Third, when we decided that I would be staying at home, I had to force myself to be productive.  We both knew it cannot be always about Risen.  For sanity purposes, I had to do something on the side. And once again, God surprised us with a few writing and online teaching rakets I was able to get.  This did not only add  a few cash on our savings but also gave me contentment. The joy of being able to work and see Risen across the table is something I would not trade for anything.   I am getting paid to watch Risen grow. Ang galing!


Amazing, amazing God!  He truly gives our heart’s desire if we rely on his will and put our faith and trust in Him.   Each day is still a learning process for me (and Bryan) but I am grateful for the chance to raise a boy.  Being a stay-at-home-mom is never easy, but with God’s grace, I count it all joy. 


MOTHERHOOD: On What Changed In Me

Mama has been a stay-at-home mother for me and Kai.  She never worked nor did business.  Me and Kai were her daily tasks.  With this upbringing, at an early age, I was convinced that one day I would like to be one too.

Now that I am living the life of Mom who is always at home, I witnessed how my life drastically and beautifully change.  Yes, my status, routine, schedule, priorities were all altered but aside from all of these, there is something inside me that was transformed.  I thought I was already the person I want to be when I got to my late twenties, obviously, I was incorrect. Motherhood (even without my "permission") impacted my life so much that I felt I became a new person.

I did not realize what responsibility meant up until a life was given to me (us). Holding Risen for the first time, and seeing how tiny, soft, and vulnerable he was, was insanely unimaginable.  He has life and his breathing, eating, comfort, and happiness  purely depends on me (us).  I (we) am literally his life.  If I do anything stupid or clumsy, I may lose him.  The moment I became pregnant, a life depends on me.  A life purely depends on me.

I also thought that all the short term missions and community immersions I did made me experience sacrifice.  However, as you have guessed, I was wrong again.  Those things were only 10 percent of what sacrifice  really is. This page will not be enough of the things I had to painfully let go to make sure Risen has a sane Mom at home. I do not regret this (and a lot of Moms told me I never will) but I have to be honest that sometimes, I miss a lot of things.  I miss being spontaneous, teaching inside the classroom, not thinking of anything, sleeping the whole day, working and leaving work to meet up with friends, and a whole lot more.  One may think these are just little circumstances, but when you are tied up with responsibilities you plainly cannot leave at all cost, these little cups of happiness become a humongous platter.

Lastly, I did not realize how self-centered and selfish I was when I was still single. I only thought of myself, my joys, and what I want.  This character made me hurt my parents because I only see myself in every situation.  What I need, What I want, What I am suppose to have. Risen taught me to slowly let go of this.  The unconditional love of my parents and the stubborn grace of God make me tear up and sorry how selfish I was in the past. Ang sama sama ko palang bata noon :(.... Although this attitude still surfaces at times, I am humbled on how my situation brings me back to where I should be.

I am only on my first year of being a stay-at-home mom, a God's work in progress and I know bigger things are ahead of me. However, it is nice to reflect on what August 13, 2013 did to me.  Risen was born on that day and little did I know that a new Mico will be born as well.


God,
Thank you for the wonderful gift of motherhood.  I felt your love and discipline through it.  You really know what to do with life!  Maraming Salamat.

and to Bryan and Risen,

Thank you for making me a mother.  You two changed me for the better.  I love you both.  


Mommy Mico 





WHAT ONE YEAR AND A FEW MONTHS OF BEING MARRIED TAUGHT ME



Being married for one year and a few months taught me that...



1.  Sense of humor can save couples from numerous and unwanted fights.



2. Cheesy date nights (or breakfasts) are happiness. We do our best to make time for it.



3.  Kissing when saying "goodbye" and "welcome home" must not be automatic. It should be done with intent. Make sure eyes meet ;) 


4.  Children should not be the center of the home/world. I think marriage and each other should still be the priority. Happy parents make happy children.





5. Cribs are helpful. At the end of the day, it is still nice to cuddle (since day 1, Risen sleeps in his crib) 













6.  Cooked food is a MUST. I make sure a meal is ready when Bryan comes home (kahit pa sabihin nya na he is busog and won't eat when he arrives home)


 
7.  Praying and having devotions together helps a lot.















8.  A kasambahay could be a blessing. If you have a "good" one, it can save you from stress, problems and quarrels

PS. We are very happy with our ate Marjorie









9.  Knowing Bryan's love language makes me know how to love him (Of course he knows mine too). 





10.  Texts, surprise love notes and pasalubongs are kilig. 

11.  A husband (or a wife) could make or break a marriage.  Do not hurry love, do not settle for good.  Seek for the "best" that God has prepared for you!