CONFESSION: I Am A Stay-At-Home-Mom Who Cannot Stay At Home

It has been known (well at least to the people I have been years back) that I love to pack, live and go somewhere.  I have grabbed a lot of piso and non-piso flights to have a tan.  I saw myself travelling alone with my handy and trusted Jansport and Teva sandals.  If not in a province, I would be in malls, meeting friends or just really, somewhere not home.

This "lifestyle" was altered when I gave birth to Risen.  

I do not regret being with Risen 24/7 but I just have to be honest, that each and every day, I would think of a place where I could go (with Risen of course).  Either to the grocery, or to the mall, or to a coffee shop – basta aalis ako.  Every morning, there is this longing to dress-up and go somewhere.

(PS. I do not leave naman the house every day)

I was further tested when our Ate Marjorie (our help/angel at home) left for a 7 day vacation.  The first day (yes, first day!) made me want to shout.  The fact that I was left alone with Risen, no one to speak with (Bryan had to do study) for a day, made me a little bit very frustrated.  There was like a hole in my being.  I felt verrryyyy bored!!

I am a stay-at-home-mom, so, why can't I be very happy at home, alone with my son?.

That same evening, I mentioned this to Bryan.  I told him, maloloka ata ako ng walang kausap, kasama at ka-share sa pag-tingin kay Risen.  Hindi ko kaya.  It is not the chores nor the taking care of Risen part but the I have no one to talk to issue!  With this confession, we agreed to drive to Mama's house the next morning while Bryan stay in Manila to read.  I felt VERY relieved.

To date, I still struggle to just stay at home.  I wonder how the "real stay-at-home-mom" does it.  Especially with one who does not have help at home.  How do you deal with the no talking part?  The eating alone? The "it is just me and my baby"? How?

I really can't and I feel very bad about it.






What did I do while waiting for God's best?


In my Mid -twenties, I already wanted to have a boyfriend.  There was a longing (and pressure) already.  Medyo naiinip na ko.  
So at 25, I did not wait anymore.  I hurried love.  I dove into an empty pool with closed eyes and tied hands and feet.

Do not do what I did.


Do not trade your life with temporary pleasures and love that you know from the very beginning is not from God. Do not exchange good for best.  Do not ARGUE.  Do not defend that he or she is kind, attends church, willing to "change religion soon", etc.  Hay naku promise, it is not worth it!!

I learned it the hard way and the spanking God gave me was hard - really hard.  Too hard that I found myself on the floor, literally asking for my life back.

Still waiting? Then just wait.  That is easier compared to being with someone who is not from God.

If I could just whack some of the girls I know who decided to follow their heart and not God.... I will, but I cannot.  So let me just say it, straight to the point.

Wag ng ipilit. Do not trade God's perfect timing to your temporary happiness.  Marriage won't be blissful if you marry a man who is not from God.  Sayang ang paghihintay kung sa maling tao ka din mapupunta.

So again, chill lang.  Hurrying love is like telling God you do not trust His timing and provision.



Do not trade a buffet with a bowl of soup.

PS.
Of course this story was before I met Bryan.  My husband was one of God's blessings when I completely yielded to God's will... :) 


**inspired by Pastor Tan-Chi


Veggie Tales Encounter

I have been praying for something very close to my heart for the longest time (even before I got married). And recently, instead of trust, I have been feeling fear towards this ordeal. Sadly, because I think it is too big to ask, I have been forgetting to pray in faith.  

However, alongside with my Bible reading, God spoke to me through a song from Veggie Tales that I introduced to Risen recently. Little did I know that this would be the Lord's reminder for me today.


God is Bigger that the Boogie Man

You were lying in your bed

You were feeling kind of sleepy
You just could not close your eyes
Because the room was getting creepy

Were those eyeballs in the closet?
Was that Godzilla in the hall?
Was there something big and hairy
Casting shadows on the wall

Now your skin is getting clammy
There's a hundred tiny monsters
Jumping right inside your jammies

God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's watching, watching, watching
Watching out for you and me

So, when I'm lying in my bed
And the furniture starts creeping
I'll just laugh and say, "Hey, cut that out!"
And get back to my sleeping

'Cause I know that God's the biggest
And He's watching all the while
So, when I get scared I'll think of Him
And close my eyes and smile!

God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's watching, watching, watching
Watching out for you and me

Come on, come on, come on
In bed
I know, I know, I know
I'm not scared

Come on, come on, come on
Because
I know, I know, I know
God's there
Watching out for you and me

Now instead of getting clammy
You just trust that God is gonna
Give that Boogie Man a whammy

God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's watching, watching, watching

God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV
Oh, God is bigger, bigger than the Boogie Man
He's watching, watching, watching
Watching out for you and me

Watching, watching, watching
Watching out for you and me



Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/veggie-tales/bigger-than-the-boogie-man-lyrics/#QEXL715YPbh5uxXB.99