PRINGLES AND THE OTHER STUFF

Sometimes when we are in the supermarket, I would see Bryan check out Pringles.  He would get one, study it for 3 or 5 seconds then place it back on the shelf.

We could afford to buy Pringles, but it is something that we can do every pay out.  We have to be "wise" on our spending (basing on the quality and amount) because we only have this much.   Example, when we go to certain restaurants I always make sure I sort of plan what we can have.  I check the menus online or check Metrodeal of they have a good offer.  Not naman depriving ourselves of food (basic need) but just making sure we have the funds to go with it that if we plan to eat our again, pwede.

As many of you know, Bryan is the only one who "works" for us.  I may have freelance job too but we try not to touch it for emergency purposes.  Up until now, we actually do not know how his salary fits.  Not intending on putting down Bryan nor on his ability to provide, but I am sure that the other moms who budget  are also surprised on how a couple of thousands can go miles.  talk about Accounting 101. And in many occasions, may extra pa!  It must really be the Lord!  Ang galing!  Truly, where God leads, He provides.

But yun nga lang, we sometimes can't afford the "other stuff".  The spontaneous, "tara alis tayo".  Or the usual "I am craving for this, I am gonna buy one NOW", or the latest of this gadget and that new something.  We can't.  But again, when I see Risen, who is the reason why I do not have a fixed income, my heart is calmed.  I am totally okay with it.  The Pringles and the other stuff can wait.  As of this season, the little boy badly needs me.

PS.
I am sure that the mothers who choose to work have believable and valid reasons.  Each mom does what is best for her family.  Working or stay-at-home, we rock mommies!

And another thing, last week, Bryan got his Pringles!!hahaha

WAIT!! DO NOT GET MARRIED YET!

Yes, you are hearing this from someone who has been enjoying marriage for almost three years now.  I guess, this is the main reason why I am "warning" those who want to get married to consider the following below.  We have seen how a marriage could be ugly if done carelessly. It can be disappointing if you just jump on it. In many of our intentional talks about our relationship, we have seen how it really takes two  three (God plus us) to run this commitement.

1.  If you are a believer and follower of Jesus, marry someone of the same faith.  I have heard girls (and some boys) say that "okay lang, kasi mabait at responsible naman".  Let me tell you straight that in many decisions that you will make as a husband and wife, you do not need a man who is only kind and responsible.  Go, ask christian couples.  See what they have to say.  I am sure they would tell you that you need a man who will solely rely on God and His direction for your lives. I hope the hand you are holding now is the kind of hands who open up the Bible and commune with God thru prayer.  Because again, hindi pwedeng mabait lang.  Let me convince you more.  Read this

2.  Consider having your own home/apartment first.  Leave and cleave.  Allow your husband to be a leader or your wife to be a real homemaker.  After all, marriage is all about to having your own family so let it be.  It feels good to play "lutu-lutuan" and "bahay-bahayan" with the person you married.  Money may be an issue here, with that, go back to my title - "Wait!! Do Not Get Married Yet!".  To add read up on what Maricar Reyes has to say (wife to Ricahrd Poon) on this.

3.  Be sure to keep an "after wedding money".  A lot of people have told me to never borrow money (loan, use credit card, ask for money, etc) for a wedding because it is not good to start a new life with utang.  I agree with this, plus, to make sure to not spend all your savings for the wedding.  The married life is more important than the event that will only happen for a day. It would be nice if you could follow-up a wedding with spontaneous dates, staycations or even family visits.  Remember that a wedding should not make you broke.  It needs not be expensive.  You can always DIY, invite the closests, be a minimalist and creative.

second night as a married couple in Estancia Tagaytay

4.  Plan a honeymoon.  The first thing that we paid for was our plane ticket to Bangkok and Phuket.  We do not have anything yet but we already had bookings for honeymoon (which I am very glad we did).  Yes, we were that excited! I guess that for a couple who decided to wait (our first kiss was at the altar), this is something that is really cherished and looked forward too.  Our seven day honeymoon plus a long vacation was so worth the wait.  I hope you will choose to really enjoy your honeymoon too.







5. Having a baby can be "accepted" but it should not be a reason to get married.  I do not know how to put this without being too direct.  Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.  A baby does not only need parents.  He would want a mother and a father who loves each other as well.

6.  Talk about it.  Do not just discuss it between the two of you but have someone guide you, ask you difficult questions, mentor you and show you what marriage is all about.  Yes, marriage is different from every couple, but it would not hurt to get wisdom from the seasoned ones.  It will helpful to see what could be difficult and answer it with all honesty because one way or another, you will have to deal with it in the future. 

7.  Marry for the right reasons.  Not because you want to escape from responsibilities, not because you want to be away from home, not because to have a family (because what if God won't give you kids?), not because you are already old, not because of financial freedon, not because of convenience.  Get married because you have chosen to love and will choose to love the same person for a lifetime and lastly and most importantly, because it is clear that this is what God wants you to be and do.


FREE YOURSELF FROM ANY CONTROVERSIES

Months ago, I attended a prayer gathering where God dealt with me.

As I entered the sanctuary, I saw a familiar face whom I was not very comfortable talking or even seeing.  We did not have personal issues it was just that we belong to same circle in the past whom had a sort of trouble.  I was on one side, she was on the other.  Seeing her seated in one of the rows of the perfectly aligned church made my stomach twist.  I decided to stay at the last line of chairs, hoping to not be "disracted" with her presence as I prayed.

As I was waiting for the prayer service to commence, I started reading the prayer list that was given and there I saw the verse...  

image not mine
In every place of worship, 
I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, 
free from anger and controversy 1 Timothy 2:8

Ooooppppsie.  This was God talking to me.

I was not angry with her, however, I knew in heart something was not right - something that I had to deal with before I can really commune with God.  And of course, this was something I also had to settle  with her.  

The prayer time started and it was difficult to focus because I knew God wanted me to do something.  I was scared because I do not want to be given a cold shoulder. Before the prayer time ended, I asked God to give me the chance to make peace.  That He will give me the courage to make the first move.

When we were dismissed, I stood up but remained on my place.  When she turned her back, I gave my big and sincere smile.  I did not do anything more because she excitedly smiled back and went to me. She right away asked how I was.  She also inquired about Bryan.  Our short talk continued and we departed with a hug.

That felt good.  Thank you Lord. 




THE STRUGGLE OF WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MAN IS REAL

I was always thought as the girl who will never to get married.  At that time, I did know if I should take it as a compliment or a disease.  However, one thing I know, the struggle of waiting for a  possible husband is real and in many times, really really painful.

There was always the question of, "Am I not pretty? Why can't men be interested?".  When I was unattached, one of the strongest lies I had to face (especially when it was raining or almost Christmas) was my image.  I  thought that if I had the perfect hair I could flip in front of a cute guy or the perfect teeth I could flash when being introduced or the flawless skin the world would seem kinder.  That maybe, if I was like "her", someone would be paying attention.  Or maybe if I was cool enough, the guys would notice.  In many times, I tried.  In those many times, I failed.  In some nights, I cried.

Then, there was the truth that most of my batchmates were either married or engaged, and here I am without any prospects.  As in zero.  Wala.  Nada.  None. Empty.  I somewhat hated friendster, Facebook and pre-nup pictures and videos then!  It seemed that time that everyone I know was having a blissful ending except me.  They are all talking about motiffs, rings and the love of their lives and here I am wandering and wondering if someone will come.  

Third, then titas and titos asking the famous "Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend?". "Kelan ka mag-aasawa?", "O, asan na? Kelan mo papakilala".  I abhor these questions!!!! Gggggrrrr!!! I would sometimes just try to be funny with my reply or '"smile" but the truth was I want to bang each one of them on the head  tell them with disgust na, "wala!!!! wala!!!! wala!!!!"  Plus a follow-up statement that says "I feel pressured already, so please do not rub it in!"

Fourth, the age!!  I knew that time that the more I get older, my value becomes lesser.  Need I say more?

Lastly was the question of  reality.  In many situations, I asked myself "What if there is really none?"  "What if I am one of the girls who will never ever be loved?" "What if I was born to be alone and matandang dalaga?".  This idea scared me a lot of times.  It got sssooooo worried about my future.  It made me ask God in tears on why there was no man?  On why can't I be in a relationship? "On when will I say I love you too"  On why am I still single and worst was still wanting each and every day to have a man?

As much as I want to tell all the single ladies and gents that it will come, I won't because I too am not sure if it really will (told you, the struggle is real).    However, I want to let you know that I also cried buckets of tears for many nights because no one texts me goodnight.  In many Christmases, I wonder if someone would still be interested.  In many occassions I tried to accept that I would end up single all my life. That I thought that the only love story I will have are the movies I watched on cable.  Yes, I struggled too and I did not exactly know the solid steps I did to fight my fears of being single all my life.  Yes, the struggle is real.  It is painful.  It is normal.  It may be long, really long.  

 And now to us who are married.  We are not better than our classmate, or officemate, or churchmate or enemy who is still single.  Our boyfriends or husbands and relationship statuses are not trophies to be waved on the faces of those still looking for true love.  Our marriages and families do not necessarily mean "God loves us more" or that we are "blessed" to the point that the single ladies and gents are under discipline by God.  Let us stop asking the wonderful single people on when they will get married (Unless you want to be asked on when you will get an annulment).  There is NOTHING wrong with them. They are pretty.  Maybe even prettier than you. Let them travel the world, succeed in their places of interests, earn and spend money without thinking much.  Allow them to attend reunions without dates and do not question them about it.  Make them appreciate their single lives to the point that they would care less that no one is interested.  Let them be. Leave them alone.

Again, the struggle of waiting for the right man is real.  It is painful.  It is scary.  So please, do not rub it in!

image not mine




I NEED S P A C E

I need space.


image not mine


I used to feel guilty every time I have a serious longing to be away from Bryan and Risen for some time (like maybe for a day every 1 or 2 months).  I thought to  myself on why I would like to voluntarily spend my day without them?  Does this mean I care and love them less?

It dawned on me that the desire to be away from family for a couple of hours is nothing that I should be sad about, rather it is something that I should really do from time to time.  I realized that this is not only beneficial for myself but more so for Bryan and Risen.  When I am away, my boys can bond without my "intervention".  They can do whatever they want without me telling to do it "this way" or "that way".  I might come home to Risen who ate pizza and ice cream for dinner, but who cares? Minsan lang naman.  And besides, who would not like pizza and ice cream?

Second, Risen needs to know, feel and see that I can't be his only person.  At 2 years old, he has the tendency to be really clingy.  In many times, he only wants me, just me.  I do not want this.  Risen has to see and be with other people.  It can't just be me.

Third, in some occasions, I badly need it. I love being a full-time wife and mom, however, at times, I get "tired".  I just need to get away from my routine and be in a place where my boys are not around.

In behalf of the other stay-at-home-moms...

So forgive me (us) when you see me (us) lounging in coffee shops without my family. Do not question me (us) when I (we) sometimes go home late from dinner (again without my (our)husband/s).  I (we) do it because I (we) need it.  I (we)need to make time for others so I (we) see how special my family is.  I (we) love spending time with my friends so I (we) can share how awesome my Bryan (husbands) is and witty Risen (kids) is.   Besides, though I  (we) am "away", what we look  forward to is the "coming home".  

So at least once a month, or every two months, let me be alone.  I need space.

PS.
Thank you Bryan for always saying "yes".  I love you!


THINGS TO DO BEFORE TURNING 13 (With your parents approval of course)

1.  Play under the rain

2.  Memorize the multiplication table

3.  Finish a novel

4.  Brush teeth thrice a day without anyone asking or telling

5.  Send a snail mail

6.  Do not use the Internet, log in to social media for a week.  Yes, a week.

7.  Play hide and seek

8.  Have a short vacation away from parents

9.  Learn to swim

10. Open a bank account

11. Give something really valuable to someone

12.  Eat vegetables

13.  Take afternoon naps

14. When your Dad or Mom arrives from work, drop everything and welcome them with a mano, kiss and hug