Have you ever been in a serious
romantic relationship that ended sourly? If yes, you have also probably gone to
the phase of getting over the person you were with. Regardless of age, personality, educational
attainment, and religious belief, people mourn when something tragic happens to
them. Individuals may just have
different ways and timetable on how they will be back to their happy selves,
but, there is a common denominator on the stages they will go through. Persons
in this situation may not notice this universal factor but when taken closely, there
is a general pattern of emotions with the people moving on.
According to psychologists, grief is the feeling someone experiences when he loses someone
or something important to him. It is
also considered as an overwhelming emotion of a person which causes him deep
sorrow. With this definition, we can
conclude that individuals whose relationships stopped in a bad note are very
much prone to grief.
Among the stages of grief, the first phase is
denial. This is when the individual
feels that the bond between him and his loved one is not yet over. In this phase, it is possible that one or
both parties may still communicate and talk about their separation over and
over. If it is the man who broke up with
the woman, she is prone to asking the man several times on why he decided to
end what they have. If no communication
is made at this stage, the couple may feel that nothing awful happened between
them. They may not cry nor react
negatively in their state. Another potential
reaction is to feel okay and maybe to sense that they have already moved-on.
The second stage is anger. One famous cause of broken relationships is
betrayal. If this is the root of the problem, this is the time when the victim will
feel mad to his partner. If the people
involved were just casualties of situations and their personality differences,
they are expected to hate themselves.
They could think that it was their fault why their love ended and that
they did not do anything good in their situation. Some may go extreme by hating men or women
and even the world they are in. They may
think that life is unfair.
After this stage, bargaining would come in. This
is considered as the weakest part of heartache.
One may seek rescue from friends, legal affairs, or even from the people
they were with. Since the persons
involved are extra vulnerable at this phase, they would have a lot of questions
on why it occurred and why it happened to them.
There are also a lot of “ifs” in this leg, such as, “If only I was
prettier..”, “If only I had a stable work and was able to provide…” “If only his mother liked me…”, etc.
The second to the last stage is depression. This is when sadness and regret comes
in. Women possibly will choose not to go
out and socialize and men may turn to alcohol.
Aside from this, people involved may perhaps feel tired and sickly. They could once again cry and get stressed
over little things. However, since this
is a familiar feeling and people know that the opposite of sadness is
happiness, those who are in this stage easily find ways on how they can be
joyful again.
The last stage of grief is
acceptance. Do not get fooled because
acceptance may not mean cheerfulness.
This may simply mean that the persons involved are contented and at
peace with their situation. They no
longer feel a strong negative emotion.
This last stage is also considered as the time when calmness is welcomed
and withdrawal from habits brought about by depression is started.
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